The Legion of Silly Dinosaurs: Generic giant Oviraptor and friends!

 

As I write this, it's the last day of the year, and I've gone a whole week without a post. I knew if there was one thing I had to get done, it was a dino blog. Fortunately, over the last shopping days before Christmas, I made it to a little store that is my favorite place for things paleo related, the way The Falling is my favorite Alien knockoff. It's a concentration of incredibly weird and wonky dinos that has already been the source of the ankylosaur dino bot, the generic dino bag, and a plurality of my "in the wild" pics (surprisingly not so much round 2). I was counting on finding something worthy of this feature. I knew I had it when I saw this guy.

This is, as anyone who found their way here undoubtedly knows, an Oviraptor, very possibly the weirdest dinosaur ever discovered. The thing about that title that the non-paleo public doesn't get is that very, very few dinosaurs are really that strange as dinosaurs, particularly among the therepods. The medium-sized herbivores could be pretty weird, the most unique being none other than the beloved stegosaurs. By comparison, the big, famous carnosaurs are mostly bigger or smaller versions of the same body plan, with only Dilophosaurus, Carnotaurus (see the mystery box post) and to a lesser extent Ceratosaurus going far from form. We now know the spinosaurs got weird enough to be their own thing, but they were ultimately nothing more or less than a reversion back to the Triassic crocomorphs (absolutely the most scientificest term ever) that the dinosaurs descended from in the first place. 

But the oviraptors have a skull structure so unique that we still have no idea how they actually fed. In fact, as nobody but me has ever commented, the one thing it does resemble is a flamingo, the filter-feeding bird, which I semi-seriously considered as a solution to their diet before we found one that weighed two tons. From what we knew then and now, the diet really couldn't have been that strange, as lizards and/ or small dino remains have been found as stomach contents and other closely associated remains. As you all undoubtedly know, the name was based on the fact that the very first specimen was found on top of a nest of eggs that it was assumed to be feeding on, until we figured out 70 years later that those were its own eggs. This specimen is a pretty good representation of how we thought they looked by the mid-1980s, before revisionists started drawing them with feathers. Here's some more pics of the glorious datedness. And yes, I could not get a single one of this thing standing up on its own.

"You'd protect your eggs too if you had to squeeze this one out..."

The thing that really seals the deal is that egg. If this was anywhere near normal size for an oviraptorosaur, this would be the size of a football, which would be about as big as actual titanosaur eggs. It is hollow, squeezable and cast in two pieces, which seemed to indicate it would be more or less removable. I initially wondered if it would have a baby dino inside. I figured from inspection in the package that it would be held on with tape or a bit of super glue at most. Naturally, handling quickly established that this thing is going nowhere without cutting something off. The lingering mystery is, what the hell is that tube thing???

As it happens, this gigantic dino still came in a bagged set with a couple more dinos, an out-of-scale stego and a brachiosaur that is probably even more disproportioned but still huge. As usual, the brachiosaur has no semblance of the soft tissue we know it had. It's still a decent old-school dino. The stego is very good, and might have been better with painted eyes, if, of course, they had been painted with competence not in evidence. Here's more pics of the pair.

And here's a couple with a 70mm Space Guy for scale...

If the gun is as effective as usual, we can assume it's a .410 loaded with rock salt.

Naturally, the set also came with some vegetation for scenery. This time around, it's quite decent. Here's a diorama shot with the space marine analogs.

And that's enough for another day and another year. I'm still thinking over what I want to do with this blog, but one thing you can count on is that the Legion will press on. That's all for now, more to come!

The Franchise File: The one with a Predator vs. Bill Paxton

 

Title: Predator 2

What Year?: 1990

Classification: That’s Good! (4/4)

 

With this review, I’m back to Featured Creature, a feature that’s been in a gray area between active and retired, particularly since most of what I’ve done lately has been leftovers from features I retired (see Death Becomes Her). This time, I’m back with something I wanted to do all along. I’m doing a lineup of 1980s franchise movies that came out in the 1990s. I speak, of course, of sequels, the one area where franchises have always been fair game, and I intend to cover the ones that are actually/ arguably good. To start things off, I have my pick for the very best of them. Here’s Predator 2, among other things the one with Bill Paxton, and if you are wondering if he’s getting to the end of this one, you missed the genre’s biggest in-joke.

Our story begins with a dystopian version of LA in the not-too-distant year of 1997, where the police are outgunned by generic minority gang members. The day is saved by our hero, a cop/ black guy named Harrigan, but when he breaks in to the bad guys’ hideout, he finds them already slaughtered by an unknown attacker who apparently entered and left through a skylight. He also runs into a fed who keeps pulling rank as more tough guys turn up skinned and mutilated. Of course, the real culprit is a Predator, a creature that hunts less advanced species for sport, according to a code of fair play that apparently doesn’t exclude using a cloaking device and plasma bazooka. This time around, the agents of the military-industrial complex are ready to hunt and catch it. Harrigan is dragged in as the G-man’s plans go south. It all comes down to a one-on-one fight- with an opponent who can take out a good part of the city if he loses!

Predator 2 was the first sequel to the 1987 film Predator, and the only sequel to be made by the original team of producers Lawrence Gordon and Joel Silver, writers Jim and John Thomas, and effects demigod Stan Winston (see Invaders From Mars, Congo, etc, etc, etc, etc). The film starred Danny Glover as Lt. Harrigan and Gary Busey as the fed Keyes, both of whom had appeared in Silver’s production Lethal Weapon, with the late Bill Paxton as the cop Jerry. The late Kevin Peter Hall (see… Highway To Hell?) played the Predator, the only returning cast member of the original film. The score was again composed by Alan Silvestri (see… Mac And Me???). While events of the earlier movie were referenced, the film did not include Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character or give a canonic account of his fate. Paxton became known for playing characters killed in the Terminator, Alien and Predator franchises. The movie was a possible commercial disappointment, earning $57 million against a budget of up to $35M, and was controversial among critics and fans. The next authorized film to feature the Predator was Alien Vs. Predator in 2004, based loosely on the Dark Horse comics Aliens Vs. Predator. Hall died of complications from HIV/ AIDS in 1991. Winston died of cancer in 2008. Paxton died in early 2017 of reported complications during surgery.

For my experiences, I looked up this movie pretty close to when I saw the first one, and it has ever since been stood as a definitive example of a sequel that is very possibly better than the original. What has really impressed me the most through the years is its simple audacity. Apart from anything else, having the very first sequel be about the monster without also  bringing back at least one recurring “hero” hadn’t really been done in the modern era outside the slasher genre (compare to Halloween 3). Beyond that, the movie surely drew on the further influence of Dark Horse comics, to the point that I have at times considered it for my finally retired Super Movies feature. Finally, I’ve been vaguely amused to see several Predator weapons introduced here become iconic in the franchise with little or no acknowledgment, especially the programmable murder frisbee (see also… Krull??!!). In these terms alone, this is at a minimum a sequel that knew how to build on its source material, and to me, that is just the start of why it’s awesome.

Moving in, I’m going to start with what’s good, particularly by further comparison with the first film. The central and easily overlooked reality is that this is definitely not the same Predator we saw before. In my “head canon”, what makes sense is that this is a younger specimen (partially validated at the very end), with correspondingly less finesse and far greater boldness. In an ironic twist that might or might not have been intentional, this one appears to adhere much more strictly to the implied code of fair play, to the extent that he (???) clearly favors close-range engagements with the claws and other edged weapons over sniping with the bazooka. There’s a certain further sense of vulnerability, egregiously during the semi-improvised first aid in a civilian’s bathroom. On the other side, we have a more relatable and likeable lead from Glover, who offers a true everyman that can voice what we’re all thinking, while Busey offers an authority figure whose actions are at least comprehensible. One more note in order is Silvestri’s soundtrack. As with the Predator itself, this is the same elements yet not the same, with a lively and authentic tribal flare added to an already archetypally effective score.

That, unfortunately, brings us to the parts that are not so good. To put it bluntly, the gang members are like cliches of other cliches. Only King Willy, bonkers even here, and perhaps the ill-fated Scorpio of the beginning rise to the level of discrete characters, let alone developed and interesting ones. In further hindsight, even Harrigan is matter-of-factly conformed to law-and-order stereotypes that would be far more uncomfortable if a “white” actor was portraying him, further validating implicit “war on drugs” politics that aged worse than usual. (It doesn’t exactly help that he effectively trades the murder frisbee and half a wrist nuke for a muzzleloader.) Finally, I will be the first and saddest to admit that they don’t do that much with Paxton. It’s as if they expected him to replicate his performance in Aliens (see my post on the novel) without the improvisational freedom that was allowed and effectively managed on James Cameron’s set. The result is a pleasant performance that checks the right boxes, redeemed by a last stand that was definitely in the running for the “one scene”.

Now for that very thing, the “one scene” that has intrigued me the most is (as happens fairly frequently) around the middle. While Harrigan is visiting the grave of a colleague, we see a child playing with a typically inappropriate 1980s toy gun at the edge of the cemetery. He seems aware of but unimpressed by his surroundings as he goes through his war games, making his own sound effects. Meanwhile, of course, the Predator is watching. The kid stops on seeing the silhouette of the cloaked creature. That’s when we go to Predator vision, and see the targeting computer highlight the silhouette of the toy gun (which is triggering a fan theory that the first one couldn’t see Arnold because their tech stinks). It’s every bit as horrifying as it sounds, except, I have never felt real doubt of the outcome. The Predator holds its fire, then the kid offers candy to the apparition with a line that is obviously going to be repeated. I find a certain ambiguity. It’s really a given that a race of sportsmen wouldn’t kill kids on purpose, no matter how fuzzy their alleged code gets. At the same time, there’s a sense of evil or at any rate amorality encountering innocence, and finding each other too baffling for further attention.

In closing, the only thing I can add is that this is one time my usual nitpicking might seem harsher than the actual rating. What it really comes down to is that this franchise was made to run on pure adrenaline, and this first follow-up already knew how to stick to its strengths. The last thing that lingers in my mind is how much the people involved here shaped my life and pop culture experience from childhood to early adulthood, whether or not I knew it at the time, and how many of them are gone. (While I’m at it, why not links for parts 1, 2, and 3 of my Lanard Predator posts?) I could go long on the melancholy, but it’s enough to say that they will stay with me as long as I’m still here. Rage against the dying of the light, and while you’re at it, watch something good!

The Legion of Silly Dinosaurs: Therizinosaurs!

 

It's the last day before a big vacation, and I decided it was time to clear out some backlogged material. As it happens, I have a new acquisition and something I've had for a long time that I had meant to cover a while ago. To start things off, here's a Jurassic World Therizinosaurus in package.

This came out, of course, with the Fisher Price Imaginext side of the Jurassic World Dominion toy line. The movie gave a prominent role to Therizinosaurus (see T. Rex Vs. Everything), which was a nice choice for a semi-obscure dino. Of course, the movie makes the dino far more menacing than it is, though what's actually shown amounts to the herbivore either slicing up carnosaurs that would happily feed on it or crossing paths with humans who run away before it can react either way. (For real silliness, see the "deadly" dicynodont.) I decided I liked this one better than the bigger "realistic" representation from Mattel, so I put in an order. Here's another pic of the packaging.

What I really like about this is the simple color scheme and very solid construction, which truly give the feel of a 1980s FP toy. The design also leaves things open-ended whether this is a hostile creature. The big gimmick is the button that lets it break loose from its bonds. Here's some pics of the thing unboxed.

"I'm a hugger, not a slasher! Mostly..."

This all reminded me of something I already had lying around. I had previously acquired a therizinosaur from a museum gift shop, along with one a raptor from the Odds And Ends post that I'm sure came from the same manufacturer. It's a pretty typical product of the 2000s, with a lot of "realistic" detail that isn't that accurate.  It was nice enough at the time to see a protobird with feathers that looked like they were meant to be there rather than added on. (See also the Retro Raptors post.) As it happened, I saw the same dino when I recently discovered Your Dinosaurs Are Wrong, a fine show/ channel from a guy I believe would cry if he saw the things I deal with. Here's a few pics of the thing.

"You say dinosaur ground sloth like it's a bad thing..."

That still leaves the Jurassic World Dominion movie. I have to say I kind of liked it, certainly better than the previous entry. It's odd and goofy, which is a tone that has served the franchise better than its self-serious "message" installments. (See my JP video rant while you're at it.) I especially liked the locust subplot everyone else has complained about. Notwithstanding the ludicrously oversized bugs on-screen, it's the kind of thing that could actually be done with existing and foreseeable tech, and the overall flavor of the scheme would fit a Bond movie as much as a JP sequel. The biggest improvement is bringing back the original cast and giving them something to do. For the moment, it wraps things up on a relative high note. With that, I can call it a day. That's all for now, more to come!