Robot Revolution: The one with zombies and an evil computer

 

The one with zombies and an evil computer

 

Title: Resident Evil

What Year?: 2002

Classification: Irreproducible Oddity/ Mashup

Rating: It’s Okay! (3/4)

 

As I write this, I’m still coming out of a sabbatical from blogging that has included a complete moratorium on movie reviews. For my comeback, I decided it was time to fill out my count for this, my survey of robot/ AI movies, the feature that has done as much as anything else to keep me going. In keeping with what has been its own theme, I further decided to do something different. This time around, we have yet another murderous computer, only this time, it is technically a zombie movie. I present Resident Evil, the Patient 0 of the modern zombie movie wave, and I will be showing why the computer is much scarier than the undead.

Our story begins with an introduction to the Umbrella Corporation, a company with their own underground lab for nefarious bioweapons research, and the massacre of the staff of said facility by a series of lethal mechanisms that might or might not be working as intended. The carnage is followed up by little tasteful nudity as our heroine wakes up in the shower with no memory of where or even who she is. The story picks up momentum when the company’s paramilitary team arrives, revealing that her name is Alice and she is the custodian of the entrance to the Umbrella lab. It is also revealed that the facility has been taken over by a supercomputer called the Red Queen for reasons allegedly unknown. For no obvious reason, the team drag along Alice and a couple iffy guys they find along the way. Things go south when most of the team are wiped out by a laser cheese grater controlled by the Queen. But the real trouble starts when the survivors take the computer offline, unleashing a horde of zombified employees and a few more ugly surprises. The dwindling party must fight their way out, but they still don’t know each other’s agendas- and they may need the Queen’s help to stay alive!

Resident Evil was a 2002 horror/ action film written by Paul W.S. Anderson, based on the Capcom video game franchise of the same name. The film starred Milla Jovovich as Alice, following appearances in films including The Fifth Element (still don’t know if I can work with that one), Michelle Rodriguez and Colin Salmon as ill-fated troopers. The soundtrack was composed by Marco Beltrami and Marilyn Manson. The film was possibly the first major zombie movie of the 2000s, preceding the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead. It was a commercial success, earning a box office of over $100 million against an estimated $33M budget, though reviews were mixed to negative. It was followed by five live-action sequels, including Resident Evil: Apocalypse in 2004 and Extinction in 2007, as well as a number of direct-to-video animated films. A new live-action film, Welcome To Raccoon City, received a limited theatrical release in 2021.  Anderson and Jovovich married in 2009. Their daughter Ever has several screen credits.

For my experiences, this film and franchise has been a textbook case of a film and franchise that stayed above my radar. I conspicuously declined to cover it for The Revenant Review, though I finally gave number 3 an entry in the out-of-control ebook edition. The obvious reason for this is simply that it is a profitable and well-known series that did not require comment. Another is by all means that I completely gave up on it at number 4. But the overarching consideration is just how many categories the first movie in particular stretches across, which became an immediate problem in the question of which feature to review it under. I could have covered it for the Horror Vault, or under my still nascent adaptation feature, where I already covered the Nineties Mario movie. By the time I loaded my ancient disc, however, I had no doubt it belonged here, if only because it truly represents one of the most formidable AI antagonists of the current millennium at least.

Moving in, the central reality is that this is a film that owes all its strengths to a sustained vibe. From the settings to the creatures to the very minimalist music, this is sci-fi horror at its most cold and clinical, building and even improving on the likes of Re-Animator and Day of the Dead (see also Sole Survivor, the re-review I completely botched).  The undead themselves fit very well into this world. They are among the most malevolent and vicious revenants of the Romero/ “slow zombie” tradition, with a counterintuitive subtlety that suggests a measure of cunning. The very first of them (seen well past the 30-minute mark) is representative of the lot, at first lurching along as if merely distressed, then striking fatefully just as a target comes within reach. Of course, both the shock value and in-universe effectiveness of this behavior sharply decline as the film goes on, yet it is a consistent behavioral pattern that never fails to be unsettling. The one thing that can be counted as disappointing is that their evident ability to use tools and weapons never goes anywhere, but then by the final act they are already superseded by the surreal hellhounds and the foreshadowed mutated abomination.

In the midst of all this, the Red Queen is indeed clearly established as both the primary antagonist and by far the most formidable threat as long as “she” is online. In the context of this feature, there are especially strong parallels with The Forbin Project and of course The Lift. Even more than in the former film, the AI is completely rational in both actions and motivations and as much in the right as any of the human characters. As in the latter, the computer’s most formidable ability is its control over its arcological environment that might or might not have been originally granted by its creators. (I honestly have no opinion on whether Anderson might have been directly influenced by that very odd film, as I already documented the “killer elevator” as a startlingly persistent concept.) The holographic avatar and very English accent give a fine extra touch that doesn’t really resolve the AI’s status; one can sympathize as the machine pleads to be allowed to continue its duties, but it is already clear that one cannot trust its motives or its anthropomorphic affectations. It is impossible to avoid further comment on the completely surreal laser sequence (obviously on the board for “one scene”), which does a great deal to define the tone and reputation of the film (see also Ghost Ship). On a certain level, the intentionally lethal gauntlet is less impressive and intriguing than the seemingly improvised booby traps of the opening. What is easily forgotten after two decades of “so bad it’s good” fame/ infamy is that it is preceded by an effective and plausible set-up, in which the humans remain in apparent control until it is far too late.

That already brings me to the “one scene”, and there’s one I’m going to try doing from memory. In the face of the first onslaught of the undead, our heroes are driven up against a computerized door that is still locked for reasons that won’t be analyzed. The most technically minded of the group (if I’m not mistaken the same one who turned off the Queen) remains confident as he does a hacker bypass while the others hold back the horde. He does it all with a smoothness that leaves no doubt that he can indeed do this. He is openly satisfied as the door opens behind him, and what really got this in here is that I didn’t remember or expect what happens next.

In closing, what I come back to is how I feel about this movie and the franchise. My standing and long stated opinion is that the third film was the best, the second was the worst, and everything thereafter isn’t worth the trouble of counting in the same continuity. By further comparison, the original is almost overshadowed, which I will be the first to say is the last thing it deserved. Whatever else one may say, it was the right film that came out at just the right time to bring the zombie genre back to life. It also had the further virtues of being both a competent film and a genuinely creative one that never tried to be anything but itself. That should be a good enough epitaph in an age of remakes and reboots. I for one am happy to give it a final salute and call it a day.

The Horrible Horror Vault: The one that's a threequel

 

 

Title: Final Destination 3

What Year?: 2006

Classification: Weird Sequel

Rating: What The Hell??? (2/4)

 

With this review, I am three years into doing movie reviews and finally definitely past the 300 movie count. For me, this has simply been another case of looking through a few options with nothing in particular in mind. It happened that that brought me to this revived feature and a movie and franchise that was never really on my radar before, except as a footnote to another movie that it might or might not have ripped off. As advertised, it happens to be the third entry in the franchise, which is exactly where things tend to get weird if they weren’t ready. I present Final Destination 3, a threequel whose good points can be as frustrating as its bad ones.

Our story begins with an introduction to our heroine Wendy, her boyfriend, and an assortment of teenagers that includes a reasonable percentage of actually likeable characters plus a couple jerks who often have a point. A premonition saves the young lady and several of her peers from an accident on a rollercoaster that apparently was last serviced when Zardoz was in theaters, but her guy is among the casualties. Soon, the survivors start to be killed off by strange accidents, and one of the jerks remembers a similar case involving a certain plane crash (because apparently even the characters would rather ignore number 2). That’s enough to convince the grieving protagonist that the unseen forces of fate are killing off her friends and frienemies- and it won’t be long before she is next!

Final Destination 3 was the third entry in the franchise of the same name. The film saw the return of director James Wong and writer Glen Morgan from the first film. The story did not feature any characters from the previous films, though Tony Todd (see Night of the Living Dead 1990) provided the voice of an announcer at the beginning and end of the film. The film starred Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Wendy, with Ryan Merriman as the helpful jerk Kevin and Kris Lemche as (spoiler???) the eventual human antagonist Ian. The soundtrack was composed by Shirley Walker (see Willard),  who had scored both of the previous films. (You really can’t win them all…) The film was a commercial success, earning a worldwide box office of about $118 million against a $25M budget. It received mixed to negative reviews, with more favorable comments singling out Winstead’s performance. Two additional sequels were released in 2009 and 2011. A sixth entry was in pre-production as of mid-2023.

For my experiences, this film came up before simply because of similarities with Sole Survivor (see my re-review, which includes comments that make no sense because I hadn’t decided what feature to put it under while writing it, and my “best” list), which I took a benign view of. As I commented previously, what both films really make me think of is the Change War series by my all-time favorite writer Fritz Leiber, which I have no illusions of being a likely influence on either. As for the present franchise, I was intrigued when the first film came out and impressed when it came my way on (network!) TV. I was interested enough to follow the sequels through 4, and found the present film to be the most interesting and flat-out good by far. If anything, it’s good enough to have a shot as a singularly rare threequel better than the original (compare with Day of the Dead). But, as I already alluded, the things that are good and actually improved are in direct conflict with a great deal that is particularly egregious, and my personal irritation is already going up after confirming that this is essentially from the same people as the first one.

Moving in, the good points of the movie are what we had so far been able to take for granted: Effective cinematography, good acting and dialogue, and a smart, genre-savvy story. On the acting front in particular, Winstead handily delivers what is easily the best performance of the whole franchise, at least outside of Todd’s comic-relief coroner. (Now that is suspiciously close to Sole Survivor…) She gets capable support from Merriman, while Lemche comes from behind as the one who truly and understandably slips into insanity. One can draw a thematic parallel in what is otherwise a weaker point in the story, the heroine’s growing preoccupation with “clues” to coming deaths that stretch things enough to be considered ambiguous in-universe. It all adds up to a story that delivers real emotional weight rather than running through interchangeable cannon fodder. On that point, further mention is in order for the macho minority character, played by Texas Battle (I literally double-checked that this is the actor’s name, not the character’s), who provides poignant bravado leading into the most well-executed death.

The ”but” that’s coming is the kills themselves. If you were willing to go along with the lethal-Rube Goldberg chain reactions of the first movie, there’s no point complaining now. However, as I ranted in a review thread long ago, several of the sequences here are particularly bad. To start with, the opening incident simply shouldn’t have happened, at least in the same way, once one particular character is out of the equation. The first two deaths (apparently done somewhat better in an alternate cut) are clearly a strained attempt to turn an especially stupid urban legend into a sensible scenario, which suffers further from contrived staging and uncharacteristically overt exploitation skin. Then there is the one that has always been my breaking point, an otherwise effective and believable workplace death that mines for redundant shock value with a gore shot that only make sense if a nail gun is loaded with literal nine-inch nails. The bigger “problem” is the definitely cumulative effect of making what would otherwise be an intelligent entry in an already thoughtful franchise feel like the dumb slasher movie that hostile mainstream observers were expecting. That, in turn, could have “worked” if there was an honest attempt at an energetic over-the-top/ “so bad it’s good” revamp (the closest thing to an excuse for 4), but with everything else at baseline, it’s just another case of too much and not enough.

That leaves the “one scene”, and I’m going with my pick for the best scene in the film. After the double funeral of the first two casualties, Kevin finds Wendy off by herself in the cemetery, shot to look sunny and peaceful. As they start into a typically engaging conversation, she says out of the blue (I can at least paraphrase), “Nothing makes me believe there isn’t an afterlife like being in a cemetery.” As the scene progresses, we get a sense of their relationship before and since the original events. It is and will remain emphatically non-romantic, yet there is a distinctive honesty already growing between them. In the midst of it, Wendy comments fatefully that she thought she has been feeling the presence of her lost love, but now thinks it is something different. Right about then, the sunny scene does change as clouds and distant thunder approach. What absolutely works is that even now, the pleasant environment of the cemetery does not feel like mockery or a fake-out; it’s just two sides of nature, mortality and grief. It’s a further reminder that this is a franchise conceived as a story with emotional and philosophical depth. Which, by my running rant, will be a further reminder that this movie is already slipping below its potential.

In closing, I will also acknowledge that I was taken off-guard in the course of this review by just how lonely I am in speaking as well as I have of this one. The first movie deserves to be remembered as a “classic” of 21^st-century horror, and it was already well on its way to that status by the time I got to it. The second was an inevitably divisive entry that tried to develop new ideas and directions, which I personally just find too unpleasant to appreciate. The present film is the one that at least looked for the right balance. It sounds little more than a do-over of the first movie, which in cold blood is exactly what it is. What the creators recognize is that telling the same story isn’t an excuse for also using the same characters. The final product proves that the same premises and situations can in fact lead to something very different, as long as it’s done with real thought and care. For that, I have absolutely no qualms standing by it. That’s enough to end on what I can call a high note.

The Horrible Horror Vault: The one with tentacle zombies

 

 

Title: The Void

What Year?: 2016

Classification: Improbable Experiment/ Anachronistic Outlier

Rating: Ow, My Brain!!! (Unrated/ NR)

 

As I write this, I have once again gone until Monday without finishing a weekend post. This time, however, it was never in doubt what I was going to review, and this particular movie was in the lineup as soon as I revived this feature. It’s one that’s been on my radar for a long time as one of the strangest and quite possibly one of the worst movies I have viewed, yet always found that neither fully described the whole. (And I have Shanks, House and Death Bed as a baseline…) Now, I’m finally ready to take this one on, and needless to say, I’m not playing nice. I present The Void, and it is among other things the kind of film that could have been custom made to annoy me.

Our story begins at a house in the countryside, where a guy makes his escape from a group of rednecks. We then find the survivor at a rural hospital that’s about to close, under suspicion of multiple homicides. He’s watched over by a kindly doctor and a lawman who is already wary. Tensions rise when strange, shrouded figures surround the hospital, and a pair of vigilantes push their way in. In the midst of it, the patients and staff start to transform into Lovecraftian abominations, and the doc is picked off. The lawman is left to guard the survivors, including a mother-to-be who might be more than a sympathy hook, and it doesn’t help when he gets a call from the deceased and no longer so friendly doctor. It’s a long night of growing horror and quasi-religious imagery, where the only thing that’s sure is that none of this makes any sense!

The Void was a 2016 independent cosmic horror film written and directed by Canadian filmmakers Steven Kostanski and Jeremy Gillespie, known for horror and science fiction/ fantasy comedies including Manborg. The project was reportedly influenced by Guillermo Del Toro (see… Pinocchio?), who had been in casual contact with the filmmakers during work on an unproduced adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s novel At The Mountains Of Madness. The production was partly funded through Indiegogo. The film starred Aaron Poole as Sheriff Carter and the late Kenneth Welsh (see Of Unknown Origin) as the doctor. Gillespie was credited as supervisor for the film’s effects. The film was shown at Fantastic Fest in late 2016, and given a limited release in the United States, Canada and the UK in 2017. It received generally positive reviews. The film is available on digital platforms including the free Tubi platform.

For my experiences, I encountered this one through a casual viewing, after seeing it listed with some quite favorable reviews. As alluded, my immediate impression was unfavorable enough that I came back to it during the brutal countdown for No Good Very Bad Movies. In that maelstrom of kaka, it was inevitably sidelined by far more worthy contenders (see, again, High Tension, and for that matter Deadgirl). I thought of it again when I put together my capsule reviews for the Revenant Review ebook, but it was always “zombie adjacent” rather than a zombie movie, and again, there were others that were more deserving of attention for good or ill (compare, if anything, Contracted). Now, I’m finally back for a rematch, and I find it an oddly suitable companion to Wind Chill. On a certain level, this is an “evil twin” to it, except more like equal and opposite: Where that was a polished near-mainstream effort that would have benefited from pushing itself further, this is the kind of competent indie-horror effort that rarely declines to cross a line for its own sake, even when said lines are basic principles of coherent narrative. If it were my verdict to pass, I would send them both back for more work.

Moving forward, what’s front and center is that we have two concepts that could each have easily sustained the film on their own, which instead clash together. On one hand, there are the cultists, ruthless and genuinely cunning antagonists who are never presented as anything but human. On the other, there are the Lovecraftian abominations, done very well with an emphasis on their very corporeal nature. I have to say right here that the former are far more effective for the majority of the film. On that front, the first act is greatly aided by the cultists’ visually compelling costumes, which readily calls to mind the obvious real-life counterparts (and the darker elements of the underlying source material) without making this feel like a half-baked “message” story. My further editorial thought is that the abominations would have been more effective as a final-act reveal, which we do finally sort of get when the doc finally introduces a group of them in the subbasement. This is also where I have to make a further complaint: While the camerawork and storyboarding are linear enough that one can see where the creatures are and what they are doing within the environment, there’s still a trendy emphasis on poor lighting for its own sake. In this already late entry, the whole trend is conspicuously shown as what it was, an attempt by journeymen to revive an artform whose masters were long gone.

For the rest, what I decided was worth more detailed comment are the characters and story. This is precisely where actual quality becomes more frustrating than outright badness. The characters of Lovecraft himself  rarely rose above expendable exposition generators (the major exception being none other than Herbert West), which made for an acceptable conceit. Here, on the other hand, we see the bar raised to the standards of modern storytelling. These are characters we can like played by real actors, especially but not limited to Poole and Welsh. Their reactions are both rational and relatable from the outset, and we will see that they have plenty more pain behind them. Where things go off the rails is that far too many character and story points seem to come out of nowhere well into the final act. I may be bad at paying attention to these things, but this is egregious, to the point that I initially thought an entire scene was a “flashback” because I had not worked out that two characters were supposed to be married to each other. That, in turn, was all because a character is impregnated with an abomination without explanation before we know the actual pregnant lady’s real story. (I was going to go into her fate, but… just no.) My big rant, building on the last, is that these things could have been laid out in detail in the same running time as the first few monster attacks. The final testament to the outright redundancy is the doctor’s chilling introduction of his creations, which would have been there to do his bidding the whole time: “They want to die, but I won’t let them…” That is how a developed reveal works, so why did anyone think we needed to see anything but the creepy cultists before this?

Now for the “one scene”, there is one that truly embodies my issues with this film. Partway through, the lawman ventures outside, after the first of the abominations is dispatched, accompanied by the very paranoid vigilantes. Of course, the cultists are waiting, and this is their finest hour. We first see them standing in their white sheets, lit by the flashing lights of a patrol car. They all draw weapons, but only one seems to rush in for the attack. We get one of our closest looks at the black triangle all of them have over the face. A shotgun blast takes him down, and the lawman retreats. The camera flashes back to the cultists, and we see them still standing there, with absolutely no reduction in the evident threat. To them, this is clearly just a skirmish which they have already won. But what brought me right out of it is that the lawman does nothing about the downed cultist. It’s reasonably obvious that he is already dead or going to be, but surely there would be something to learn from at least a glance under the sheet. In fact, given the assumed small-town setting, it’s very likely that all of these guys (???) are people the sheriff would already know, something the film will never acknowledge or explore the implications of. And that is how you lose even a reviewer as mild-mannered as me.

In closing, I come to the rating, and this is where I literally punted. On my regular rating scale (which I never updated from The Revenant Review), this would be either 1 or 2 out of 4, very much depending on my mood. (As I regularly point out, just being on the scale is enough to separate a film from the actual “worsts”.) What finally stayed my hand is that I have seen how well it resonates with a genre fandom I have never quite been a part of. Beyond that, there are certainly strengths that I cannot easily address in my review format. The bottom line is, if you like this movie, I’m not the one who will tell you that you are wrong. I gave it a chance, and that much was what it deserved. That’s enough to call it a day.

Fiction: Assumed mythology line-up!

 It's the start of the weekend, and I still don't have the second post of a three-post week. That left me without anything in particular outside my fairly massive and ridiculously quickly written novel that I already posted a spoiler for. I considered one particular chapter to post, because I keep revising it, with more spoilers and a whole lot of stuff without the introduction or buildup. Then I decided to do something different that was actually fun to do. I like to work mythology and folklore (see Chelsea the (bad) Social Worker, which has some overlap) into my stories, and for this project, I had the idea of a whole culture based on ancient Greek mythology but with such a skewed perspective that their take would be equivalent to theistic Satanism. (Yes, I've encountered that in the wild...) With that in mind, I went as far as writing out a list of the characters these guys would choose as their heroes. So, here goes...

These are the names of the 12 Heroes of the Myrmidons, who defied the gods who are not gods and brought the wrath of gods and men, and the accounts of their deeds as told among them and the Misthioi.

 

Aeacus the Ruler: He was a demigod king of the island of Aegina and founder of the Myrmidons. Seeing that he was loved by his father Zeus and his people, jealous Hera destroyed his kingdom with a plague. Finding himself among the bodies of his subjects, he beheld the ants and the brotherhood and good order with which they marched. In grief, he called on Zeus to make him a new people and a great army from the ants. Zeus granted his wish, and the ants became the first Hoplites of the Myrmidons. He lived long and well, and when he came to the shores of Tartarus, Kind Hades appointed him as a judge of the souls of the dead.

 

Aesclepius the Healer: He was the greatest of physicians and kindest of men. It was said that his medicine could cure all disease, and some even told that he could return the dead to life. Kind Hades pled that his power be drawn back, lest the living fill the Earth until there was no food to eat or land to grow it. Instead, Zeus slew him, fearing that one with the power to restore the dead to life might also learn the secret ways to slay the immortal gods. But the people revered him in death, even as a god himself, and Just Hades honored him with the sign of the serpent in the heavens.

 

Amphion the Defender: He was the founder and builder of great Thebes, the impenetrable city, and husband of rash Niobe. When the gods slew his sons for their mother’s insult, his daughters prevailed on their mother to come to the temple of the Sun and Moon in penitence by the promise of a false oracle. Guessing the gods’ trap, he breached the temple to find his daughters slain beside the bodies of their brothers, save Meliboia. He fought the Assassins of Olympus, one against two, and it is said that he wounded the arm of mighty Apollo, or else moved him to mercy by his show of valor. But the cold Lady of the Moon cast a dart he could only slow with his shield and his body. Then, knowing himself mortally wounded, he cast himself down from the temple mount so that the gods could not claim to have extinguished his line by their hands alone. But where he fell, only persephones were found, to show that Kind Hades and his Queen had favored him.

 

Arachne the Challenger: She was the greatest and proudest weaver of all mortal men, so great that she challenged Athena to prove herself better. They held a great contest, which only Zeus would judge. Arachne showed the sins of the gods, where Athena showed the fates of those who had defied them. And the gathered peoples said that Arachne was the better, save that Athena wove with finer thread that no mortal had seen from the wealth of the heavens and the depths of the Earth. But Zeus judged his daughter victor, and in spite, the goddess smashed Arachne’s weaving along with her loom. Then humiliated Arachne prepared to hang herself with her last measure of pride, but the gods or mysterious Fate transformed her to a spider, the first of her kind on the Earth. To this day, Athena curses the sign of her kind.

 

Cassandra the Counsellor: She was the greatest and wisest of all prophets and seers, moved to warn the kings and their people of disaster. Mighty Apollo wooed her, for he knew his own oracles could not match her vision. But when he offered to make her the very Queen of Heaven if she would foretell to him alone the dooms that might yet fall on the gods themselves, she spurned him. So the god laid on her the curse of Moira, that ever after, she would foresee every doom, but no mortal from outcast to king would believe her or heed her until the Fates she foretold had come had already come to pass. Worse, it would be her lot to fall in the path of every great calamity, to warn in vain and then suffer, yet never find death. And so she wandered the Earth, from land to land and age to age until east became west and tomorrow became ancient legend, and some say she wanders still, warning of the doom that will yet smite the very stars from the sky.

 

Chloris the Accuser: She was the daughter of Amphion and last princess of Thebes, wounded by the gods themselves but not destroyed. It is said that she was first named Meliboia, meaning Honey And Milk, but when men beheld her risen from the tomb of her family, they called her Pale One. Ever after, it was appointed to her to testify to the evil deeds of gods and men, whether in the courts of Olympus or the halls of Kind Hades. From of old, the rescue of Chloris and the love and valor of her mother was portrayed in song and in stone. Yet, many of the ignorant and unknowing instead tell that the daughters of Niobe fell nameless beside their brothers.

 

Hephaestus the Armorer: He was an Olympian, the god of the forge and of arms and armor, and the only one besides Kind Hades to earn the veneration of the Mymidons. He was born to Zeus and Hera, so ugly and deformed that his mother cast him from the Heavens. Yet he returned, and proved himself by casting the most beautiful ornaments and most cunning weapons of the gods. A day came when he defended his mother after his father wronged her, and his father cast him down again. Then he taught his arts to mortal men, and the Myrmidons say it was he rather than Prometheus the First Benefactor who first revealed the secret of fire. At last, Zeus restored him in fear that he would arm the men of Earth as the gods themselves. And so he crafts his father’s mighty thunderbolts, yet it is said that he keeps the deadliest bolt of all for himself, in case a time should come when the gods plot to expel him again.

 

Idas the Redeemer: He was the faithful lover of Marpessa, whom Apollo sought as a trifle. He alone prevailed against the gods. His lady was not tempted, for she loved Idas and was wise enough to know that gods were rarely true or kind to mortal women, but they both feared that the god would not leave them in peace. So great was his love and bravery that Idas dared to challenge mighty Apollo to combat for honor, and Zeus feared the disgrace of all the gods if the mortal man prevailed or if the god resorted to treachery to best him. For the first and only time, the King of Heaven pledged to honor the choice of a mortal woman between god or man. The true mortal rightly received his bride, and Zeus was forced to swear that the gods would trouble them no more.

 

Mestra the Maiden: She was the daughter of Erysichthon the Hungry, whom even the Myrmidons count most justly accursed, yet the punishment of the gods caused more woe to her than the sinful King. Consumed from within by Limos, the Demon of Famine, her father became a deathless ghoul who devoured the harvest of his kingdom, and all the food his wealth would buy, and finally his own servants. He at last threatened to consume Mestra if she did not bring him food. To escape him, she agreed to be sold as bride to six master even crueler in exchange for a ship full of food. Her suitors thought to cheat the king with moldering bread, diseased livestock, putrid meat, poisonous fruit, bitter herbs and ancient bones. Each time, her father consumed the offering in a day, while she escaped with her power to change shape and returned to be sold again, and when her husbands pursued her, the ghoul devoured them as well. Her seventh suitor was Autolycos, master of thieves. To him, she revealed that her father could not look upon his own reflection. Mestra lured the ghoul into a chamber lined with mirrors, and the gallant thief sealed him in. Trapped, the wicked king consumed himself, and the Maiden became Autolycos’ lady and partner. She is held up as an example of the virtue of fulfilling all oaths and the bonds of family, even to the unworthy, but her marriage is a byword for a bargain made in desperation and bad faith, to no benefit.

 

Orestes the Avenger: He was the heir and avenger of Agamemnon, whom Aegisthus slew for his throne and the favor of his faithless queen Clytemenstra. Orestes slew the usurper, but for presuming to slay his king, the gods sent visions of the Furies to torment him to madness. Against the specters he alone could see, he raged and flailed, until he dealt a mortal wound to his sister Electra, believing her a Fury in a mortal guise. He then prepared to murder his mother, who confessed that his father was not Agamemnon but Aegisthus whom he had killed, and then slew herself instead. At the last, he swore that the gods were not gods if they would drive men to greater evil for a sin made in ignorance and madness. Only then did the Furies disappear from his sight, never to return.

 

Palamedes the Diviner: He was a wise king and commander in the war against Troy. Of the great heroes, he alone was wronged by men and not by the gods. Among his many deeds, he invented the dice, and in so doing learned much of the ways of Fortune and Fate, which are greater than the so-called gods. It is said those who rolled against him came to mistrust him and resent the debts they owed. It was perhaps for this reason that he came to be accused of treason and spying, and finally charged based on a letter many held to be forged by his chief enemy, the famed Odysseus. He submitted his doom, proclaiming that his own fortune had been cast, and some say it was this injustice that led to the disastrous voyage of Odysseus.

 

Sisyphus the Truth-Teller: He was the founder and king of Corinth, and judged the most cunning of all men. He brought riches to his city by his dealings, which some said were gained by murder and treachery against his guests. But others told that he could tell no lie nor break any promise, but could by omission and incomplete truths deceive more completely than the most brazen liar. It was even said that he escaped Death and Hades by his trickery. The greatest test came when an enemy of Zeus sought a hiding place where the god had taken a damsel, and Sisyphus gave witness against the King of Heaven, revealing what he knew of a secret place he had seen the god enter. Some say that for this, he was punished to an eternity of hard and futile labor, others that he defied the gods in the knowledge of the doom that already awaited him.

The Horrible Horror Vault: The one that's the other best horror reboot

 

 

Title: Evil Dead

What Year?: 2013

Classification: Weird Sequel

Rating: That’s Good! (4/4)

 

As I write this, I’ve been debating what do for an off-week post while trying to maintain a ludicrous output for another project. After going through several promising contenders, I decided to investigate some recent chatter. That brought me back to something I had thought about reviewing for quite a while. It also brings me into territory that was already opening up once I reactivated this feature, the “modern” horror reboot, which has long since become synonymous with the most hated trends in modern genre films. Just to be contrarian, I’ll be taking on an entry in one of the most infamous and iconic franchises of all time. Here is Evil Dead, 2013 edition, and it is… really, really good???

Our story begins with a young girl captured by yokels who believe she is possessed by a demon. We then jump to the beginning of another story as we meet Mia, a young lady on her way to a cabin with her brother and her friends as part of her recovery from substance abuse. The friends soon warn the brother that Mia has already had to be resuscitated after an overdose, and this intervention must be hardcore. But the group discover signs that someone has been using the cabin, including a book with dire warnings scribbled in not to ever, ever read from it. Naturally, the smart guy of the group manages to disobey. As Mia gets wired, strange visions appear. As her madness begins to spread to the others, it becomes clear that there is a supernatural force in their midst, and the darkest secrets are what they brought with them. It’s up to Mia and the brother to defeat their literal and metaphorical demons, before Hell arrives on Earth!

Evil Dead was a 2013 horror/ dark fantasy film directed and cowritten by Fede Alvarez, developed as a reboot of the 1981 film and franchise created by Sam Raimi (see Darkman). The film reportedly entered production in 2011, with Raimi and star Bruce Campbell credited as producers. The film starred Jane Levy as Mia, with Shiloh Fernandez as the brother David. Effects for the production used a reported 70,000 gallons of fake blood, mainly for the rain of blood in the finale, breaking a record previously set by Dead Alive. The film was released by Sony in April 2013. It was a commercial success, earning $97.5 million against a $17M budget, and received largely favorable reviews. Alvarez followed the film with Don’t Breathe, also starring Levy, in 2016. A TV series Ash Vs. The Evil Dead, starring Campbell and directly following the first two films, aired on Starz from 2015 to 2018. In 2023, a new film Evil Dead Rise was released, which did not directly follow or reference any prior films.

For my experiences, what really popped into my mind going into this is that remakes and reboots are usually the kind of film that go over my radar. The further irony is that the relative few I have dealt with are easily among the best movies I have ever reviewed. In the process, I have ended up giving a reasonably comprehensive survey of the different approaches to remakes. Night of the Living Dead gave a straight do-over of the original film, with a bigger budget and a few twists to reflect changes in society at large. The Thing, by now the most revered in the whole category, went back to the pulp source material for what became a readaptation as much as a remake. In the middle, you have the 1980s The Blob and Invaders From Mars (which I now must admit belonged on my “best” list), which kept the essential concepts with plenty of updates for effects, production values and politics. By comparison with these, most of the modern remake/ reboot waves objectively reach no more or less than the proverbial high standard of mediocrity. The real result is a certainly frustrating glut of films that are simply too unambitious either to inspire or offend. The present film stands as the outlier that did something different, and that is just the beginning of why it is by far the best of an iffy lot.

Moving forward, I will add as I usually would have already that I saw this in the theater, pretty much at its opening. (Yes, I also just saw the new one, but I don’t want to talk about that one yet.) What was jarring at the outset was that it almost entirely removed the humor of the franchise, something I would have said was so essential that a film without it might as well be marketed as completely separate. In fact, what emerges from under the one-liners and splatstick is an allegory of madness, grief and redemption. I must say as a further rant that it also highlighted a counterintuitively conventional spirituality that was there all along. In the midst of the secular nihilism of the slasher era, the original films offered admittedly imperfect good against absolute supernatural evil. (I will get back to that…) The further step of making the demonic forces into a symbol of addiction and familial dysfunction was perhaps not the best or even the most original move, but it makes for a film that at a minimum has something to say. That, in turn, builds to a jaw-dropping payoff with the literally Biblical finale.

Then there are the “Deadites” themselves, which have no name here. What’s most noteworthy is that they are made far more vulnerable than their earlier counterparts, without being any less terrifying. These are true demoniacs, and as such can be permanently neutralized by the things that would kill a normal human. At the same time, the prominent role of bodily fluids gives a biological logic that supports lends itself to alternative semi-scientific explanations discussed in the film, at least for a while. The limitations of mortality are more than made up for by their utter savagery and a further penchant for self-mutilation that had not appeared in the franchise before. The most intriguing result is a genuinely two-sided escalation in brutality as the uninfected defend themselves by increasingly desperate means. Another emerging subtext is an emphasis on violence by women against men and each other, which somewhat eases the especially uncomfortable sexualization of the first film. The difference shows especially in the direct remake of the most infamous scene of the franchise to represent the possession of Mia by the slimy spawn of the Abomination. Things are toned down enough to give the feel of the symbolic, and perhaps debate the reality of the events within the film’s own universe, but the implications remain clear and brutal.

Now for the one scene, I am giving honorable mention to what was really my first choice, the smart guy reading the possession spells, which stands out as a notable remnant of the humor of this odd franchise. But I couldn’t avoid a scene that has stood out from the beginning, the first possession besides Mia’s. After the main character’s first freakout, the one character with medical training (played strikingly by Jessica Lucas from Cloverfield) runs for supplies while still covered in gunk of uncertain composition. After a few moments of conversation, we find her in a bathroom trying in vain to clean up. She finally gets out a fateful syringe and a container of medicine. The door slams shut, and she sees her own face, grinning and mutilated, before the mirror shatters. As more creepy sights builds up, she starts to withdraw into another room, further from the group. That’s when she freezes literally in her tracks, an action that feels as violent as any number of the many convulsions before and since. Then the camera zooms in on her legs, and we see another fluid trickling. It’s a subtle detail, yet brutal (and borderline misogynistic) in its implications, and it’s everything one would expect from an Evil Dead film.

In closing, what I wanted to close with is what made the Evil Dead franchise great to begin with, something that figured very much in my reactions to the latest installment. What set it apart from the first film onward was its humor. I would argue that what made it last (especially from Evil Dead 2 onward) was its underlying optimism about human nature. This is a series that says you can be weak, fallible and outright cowardly, but still have a chance as a champion of good, and if the cosmic forces of evil take your hand, replace it with a chainsaw. I posit further that this is exactly where the present film got the point of the original and ran with it all the way. For me, that’s more than enough to get it the highest rating, and that’s where I’m fine ending it. Hail to the king!

Futures Past: "It's A Good Life" classic sci fi/ horror/ fantasy story

 As I write this, it’s the middle of the week, and I’ve been wavering between a number of different ideas what to do. I finally decided it was time to do something different, which was when I remembered I already had this, a post I hadn’t finished. I have recently been on a Twilight Zone binge, which ultimately included a review of the 1980s movie. Another resulting tangent was a reread of the story that was the basis for one of the most famous TZ episodes of all, “It’s A Good Life” by Jerome Bixby, the tale of a town held hostage by one Anthony Freeman, a child with the powers of a god. To accompany my review, I posted a few thoughts on the story in a newsgroup. With this post, I’m expanding this into a true essay.

The main thing I decided was worth writing about further is my personal experience with both the episode and the story. I saw the episode at a very early date, possibly about as soon as I had access to a TV. As I commented in the review of the movie, at that time, Twilight Zone still had a huge footprint. It aired regularly on weekend and daytime TV, plus the “marathons” that usually cropped up once or twice a year. There was also plenty of associated media, which would soon include parodies on the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror, not to mention the 1980s revival. Of course, the episode made a strong impression on me. That still leads to one of my specific memories of the franchise: At age 10 or 11, I recounted the episode to an older family friend who said he hadn’t watched the show. When I described the ending, he said he could picture it all.

It was a while later that I read the story, in hindsight after I must have read several other stories by the author. I probably first ran across it in the Science Fiction Hall Of Fame, which I believe may have been the only time I read it before my recent reread. It did stay in my mind as it continued to turn up in other anthologies I read or collected, including a collection from Frederick Pohl’s Star anthology series where the story first appeared. More recently, it has apparently slipped into public domain, leading to a number of postings of the full texts as well as a variety of readings and adaptations. Then and now, it fit my impressions of the writer before and since: Competent, polished, and creatively subversive, yet ultimately, deceptively unremarkable. My further and strongest impression was that the story is a very different and far more unsettling experience than the TV episode, even though the adaptation is among the most faithful on record.

Coming to the story, what can easily derail any further analysis is how to classify this very odd beast. It’s really science fiction only in the sense that it was first appeared in a genre publication, and then in an anthology format that offered far greater flexibility. “Dark fantasy” would be a better fit, yet still imperfect. The most obvious answer is to call it supernatural horror, notably at a historical low point when Weird Tales was a few years from extinction and only comics like Tales From The Crypt were moving in to replace it (one more important datum on how this ended up in an SF publication). To me, the best fit is “regional” fiction, especially in terms of the polished “mainstream” realism that is prominent both here and in the whole of the author’s body of work. (“Our Town”, which has turned up on public-domain sites, is if possible an even more horrific case in point.) What’s striking is that the story becomes even more jarring and perverse considered in these terms. In place of amiable stereotypes and idealized everymen, we have people who by all indications were in miserable poverty even before the actual demigod showed up. I find myself wondering if the author’s whole career amounted to jumping the fence of a field that had become even more hidebound and moralizing than science fiction had been in the 1930s.

Finally coming to the story itself, my first and central observation is that the scenario is so brutal that the only conclusion to be made is that these people are simply doomed. In the story, Anthony is only three, and has possessed his powers literally from birth. There are already fewer than 50 people left alive in the town, including less than 20 children. While no corresponding figure is given for the population pre-Anthony, the number of referenced and implied deaths (one from apparently natural causes) is surely in the double digits and very possibly in the hundreds. Thus, the few survivors who remain are most likely less than half the original population, and it will become clear that those who remain have not gotten any better at staying alive. On top of that, it seems very possible that Anthony may actually grow more powerful with age.

Meanwhile, what may prove especially jarring in comparison to the TZ treatment is that Anthony is treated quite sympathetically. Much of the story is for all intents and purposes from his point of view, and in his perceptions, the world of the story is one of wonder and ethereal beauty. It is especially intriguing to see an idyllic pond he has created for the town’s wildlife. Of course, even here, there are punishments meted out and a casualty from simple absentmindedness. This ultimately provides key context for the greatest horror of the tale: Anthony really wants to be a benefactor to the townspeople as he is to the animals, in exchange for the same simple-minded gratitude. The actual result is that his attempts to “help” terrify the townspeople even more than his sometimes justified outbursts of anger. This is illustrated early on by an ominously vague account of Anthony bringing a grieving widow’s husband back to life.

A fair amount has already been said about strong insinuations that Anthony isn't fully human in appearance, which culminate in a brief and grisly recounting of his birth. It's made explicit in the process that he has had his powers from birth. What I found most jarring, especially compared to the show and the movie, is that he only speaks once in the entire story, and then literally 2 words. This actually fits with his age as given in the story, with the surely intended implication that he could actually grow more powerful with time. One more especially striking difference from the TV and movie adaptations is that Anthony is actively sadistic rather than merely disproportionate in retaliation, notably compelling a rat to "eat itself" in the first scene. This gives a whole new element of horror, but to me, it actually makes the story feel significantly more routine. Unromanticized depictions of childhood were fairly common in and outside science fiction in the 1950s, which makes this story simply part of a trend. (However, it’s noteworthy that it was published a little before Golding’s Lord of the Flies.) What I found odd is that nothing more is made of this in the story as a whole, which ultimately makes a missed opportunity to challenge perceptions of “normal” behavior.

Something else I felt worth discussing are two characters in both the story and the episode, Aunt Amy and Dan Hollis. Amy is described at the outset as the victim of Anthony’s outbursts, which left her alive yet all but destroyed mentally. What becomes quite disconcerting is that she actually acts more “normal” than anyone else, and even gets away with complaining far more than anyone else. As a further nuance, it’s mentioned that Anthony might restore her to her former self once he better understands his actions, which of course only brings up still more horrifying possibilities. By further comparison, Hollis as the single human victim whose fate is shown in the story is far more obnoxious and ignominiously dispatched. At the party in his honor, he gets drunk and genuinely acts like a jerk to everyone present. The most striking difference is that he doesn't even get the benefit of the defiant, arguably heroic speech to Anthony that made the episode’s searing ending. Instead, he doesn’t even realize Anthony is there until it is clearly too late, then barely gets off a word before he's transformed into an undescribed abomination.

The greatest horror of the story ultimately lies in its most striking point of ambiguity, whether Anthony can simply bring people back to life. It’s already up in the air whether Anthony has isolated the town from the world or destroyed everything else, a point that works far better in the printed story. The further and increasingly strong implication is that this is for all intents and purposes a world of Anthony’s creation, and there is ample reason to consider whether the people are likewise his warped handiwork. As noted, we find out early that Anthony has tried to bring one person back to life, however imperfectly. Therefore, it is certainly possible that those who have survived are alive by his whim. The limited, already terrifying scenario (mentioned by others but not stated to my satisfaction) is that there are people the child demigod will not allow to die. The maximized interpretation is that those who think they have been spared have really already been killed and resurrected an indefinite number of times, very possibly remade each time even more according to his warped perception. An extra detail that fits far too well is Anthony’s “television” night, which the story portrays as entirely incomprehensible sounds and images- not “real” TV, but perhaps a child’s perception and idea of TV.

In conclusion, what I find after going through this is that I am conflicted about both the Twilight Zone episode and the story. As good as it was an adaptation, I no longer consider the episode among the best of the series. (The one that’s really crept up for that distinction is “The Silence”, which isn’t even “real” sci fi or fantasy/ horror.) Viewing it as an adult, I find it takes the right mood to appreciate it as anything but overdone. The story has aged far better, but stands out far more as a product of its time and a writer who could never quite make it into the top ranks. One might further wish that there could be a “do over” of the TZ episode that wasn’t limited by either censorship or effects technology. (The descriptions of the "sky" and "sun" would be hard to do with anything but CGI.) However, we already had our shot with the movie, and the people involved made what was probably the best choice by taking a different path entirely. Ultimately, the verdict on the story even more than the episode is that its greatest accomplishment was laying the way for better things. By all means read it if you haven’t, and reread it if you have. Just remember, things could be worse.

Movie Mania: Most heroicest movie tracks!!!

 I'm two days behind on blogging, and I'm trying to hold down my fiction post count, so here's something a bit different. I'm doing a rundown of the most heroic movie score tracks, at least from the eras and genres of films I usually cover. Here's my list in top 10 format, with a bit of handicapping to avoid overrepresentation of composers or franchises.

10. Action Pack/ "Peter Changes His Mind", Simon Haseley, Dawn of the Dead-  I covered this extensively in my Dawn/ Day of the Dead soundtrack post and video. A tough-as-nails SWAT trooper contemplates self-termination, decides to kill zombies instead. It gets made fun of, and I have joined in, but it's a textbook case of cheesy/ "bad" music that really works. What could be more life-affirming than plowing through the undead hordes to literal football music?

9. "Klendathu Drop," Basil Poledouris, Starship Troopers-  The space troopers invade a planet of Bugs, get slaughtered. It's great music with enough of an edge to fit the themes. And the cover is, ah, different...

8. "Futile Escape", James Horner, Aliens- I couldn't avoid this one. The Colonial Marines make a fighting retreat from the xenomorph swarm, get picked off one by one starting with Bill Paxton. It's not as popular as "Ripley's Rescue", but it ups the game for a sequence that ratchets up the tension as things go from bad to worse. Also proves Horner could compete with the best on the law of averages.

7. "The Asteroid Field", John Williams, The Empire Strikes Back- The Millennium Falcon runs from the Empire through a swarm of deadly space rocks. The best incidental music from the greatest science fiction film of all time by the most accomplished science fiction/ adventure composer, and we're still not even in the top 5...

6. Star Trek First Contact/ Main Theme, Jerry Goldsmith- A showdown with the Borg is introduced with a surprisingly subtle opening. The composer of the "Next Gen" theme returns with a theme that's truly noble. Oh yeah, I wrote this one up for my Revenant Review ebook that I'm still waiting for someone to buy.

5. Conan the Destroyer/ Main Theme, Basil Poledouris- The second movie featuring the most famous sword-and-sorcery hero opens with an epic opening theme. You can argue whether the movie is better than the first one (it is), but the soundtrack is among the very best from an underrated composer. And see the movie review and expanded soundtrack post...

4. "Ride of the Firemares," James Horner, Krull- A band of heroes race against time to the evil overlord's teleporting castle on magic horses. The effects aren't great, but the music is epic. See my soundtrack post while you're at it...

3. "Building the Crate", John Powell and Harry Gregson-Williams, Chicken Run- Claymation chickens race to build an aircraft before their owner completes a machine to make them all into pot pies. It's a masterpiece of frenetic energy with real emotional weight. The moral in case you missed it, we're all the chickens.

2. Superman/ Main Theme, John Williams- The most epic theme from the master. Just because it's virtually impossible for the hero to lose doesn't mean he can't be awesome.

1. "Entr' Acte", Jerry Goldsmith, Patton- The high point of the soundtrack that convinced me that Goldsmith was as good as Williams. It's the essence of victory; what more is there to say?

And that's really all I wanted to do for this. Things like this are why I love movie music as much as I love movies. If anything, it may seem like I'm not being as eclectic as I usually am, but that's because the very best movies are the ones that tend to go above my radar. As an extra, here's an updated playlist covering most of this list plus a few surprises. While I'm at it, here's the one I'm proudest of (after the one that's literally one song), my Poledouris playlist. That's all for now, more to come.

The Horrible Horror Vault: The one where Kenny is the killer

 

 

Title: Terror Train

What Year?: 1980

Classification: Knockoff/ Mashup

Rating: It’s Okay! (3/4)

 

With this review, I’m continuing my semi-official survey of slasher movies, and I’m up to one I was actually looking forward to. As I have freely admitted, I have disliked slashers as much on principle as from experience. As a further consequence, many/ most of the ones I have seen are decent to good entries that fans of the genre acknowledge as well above average. On the other hand, I have on occasion found a film that I have been surprised isn’t much better known and regarded, and I consider the present example to be nothing less than one of the very best. I present Terror Train, a slasher movie good enough for even me to like. As it happens, I’ve been on the train.

Our story begins with a med school prank involving a real dead body that sends the intended victim into a breakdown. Fast forward, and we find the lunkheads and the semi-reluctant woman who participated on a night-long trip on an excursion train. It’s frat party meets masque as the coeds party away in costume, with further entertainment from a magician. But a killer has slipped into their midst, using the disguises of his victims. The body count rises, even as the actually competent authority figures in charge of the train lose track of one of the bodies. We all know this isn’t just a random guy, and he’s working his way up to the victim who might not deserve it. Will our final girl survive the night, or is this a one-way trip?

Terror Train was a 1980 horror/ slasher film directed by Robert Spottiswoode. The film was reportedly conceived by producer Daniel Grodnik as “Halloween on a train”. The film starred Jamie Lee Curtis as the damsel Alana and veteran stuntman/ character actor Ben Johnson as the conductor Carne, with David Copperfield as the unnamed Magician. The movie was filmed in late 1979 in Montreal, Canada, using an authentic engine and cars from the Canadian Pacific Railway. The role of the killer Kenny Hampson (yeah, 42-year-old spoiler) was played by Derek MacKinnon, described by Spottiswoode as a transvestite and a member of the local theatrical community. The finished film was distributed by Fox, with a reported $5M ad campaign that would have exceeded its original $3.5M budget. The film was a likely commercial disappointment, earning a box office of only $8M against its budget and expenses, and received mixed to poor reviews. Later critics and fans reappraised it as a superior 1980s slasher movie. Spottiswoode went on to a successful career as writer and director on films including 48 Hours and Tomorrow Never Dies. MacKinnon made several additional film and TV appearances, including an interview for the 1993 LGBT documentary Lip Gloss. A remake of Terror Train was released in 2022. As of late 2022, the original film is available for free streaming on Tubi.

For my experiences, I first heard of this film by pure serendipity, because the train cars used have appeared regularly at local railroad events. (Yeah, I do a lot of stuff I don’t write about.) I didn’t take an immediate interest in the movie, but it did eventually find its way into my rental queue early in the current year. After going in with especially low expectations, I was highly impressed with the film, enough to consider it not just one of the better slasher movies but quite possibly the best I had encountered first-hand. That really made it the kind of movie that usually does not suit my purposes, so I set it for another look down the line. After the rematch, I can still hold it up as at least among the smartest of vintage slashers.

Moving forward, the first things to say are by way of explaining my lead-in. The most striking thing about this movie is that it rarely if ever depends on the characters being dumb. The killer is genuinely clever, enough that he manages to cover his tracks even after evidence of his handiwork is discovered. The body count fodder, by comparison, certainly don’t act very bright, but then they have little reason to suspect they are in danger until very late in the film. The biggest departure from the still-emerging formula is the exceptionally proactive train crew. Of course, they try to cover up the first murder or so where more immediate action could have stopped the whole thing, plus they fail to stop the bad guy from removing evidence. On the other hand, they are quite effective in keeping the civilians from either panicking or directly interfering with their inquiries, which would be by far the greatest risks in a real-life situation. Most impressively, they ultimately unload everybody for an orderly inspection, which sets up a twist I had forgotten the details of. Finally, it is the conductor who finally deals with the villain, albeit after he almost does in the damsel.

This still doesn’t cover the most intriguing elements of the movie, the costumes, the train, and the quite unique villain. The costume party, lit and shot in a willfully lurid 1970s style, seems to reference “Masque of the Red Death”, with an effective surreal feel that is often lost in actual Poe adaptations (see Two Evil Eyes for a possible exception). The hedonistic atmosphere is increasingly contrasted with the confined spaces of the train environment, which hadn’t been used since The Horror Express and are treated at least as effectively here (perhaps better than Curtis…). It has been my further observation that this is where science fiction/ horror films often “cheat” by honeycombing their claustrophobic vehicle with improbably convenient places for both the protagonists and the villain/ monster to hide or escape, but these only figure once or twice here. In these terms, the only film to adhere so honestly to the premise is the ”B-17” segment of Heavy Metal. Finally, there is the killer, who is at face value given good reason for revenge. The usual temptation to find sympathy for the villain is tempered by the nature of his attacks; it’s of particular note that at least one victim seems to be a random target of opportunity, belying any intention of limiting his attacks to those who wronged him. When we do get a look at him, he is unsettlingly ordinary, a commendable counterpoint to the toxic glamor that would surround the genre. Then there is his voice, which I simply cannot do justice by describing.

That leaves the “one scene”, and I’m going with one of the kills that I honestly wanted another look at. It all starts with the killer making his way through the train in what looks like a Groucho Marx mask. He passes an especially jubilant partygoer in a lizard-man suit, who addresses him by the name of the original owner. (As noted, it’s not at all clear that the villain knew as much…) It’s enough to draw his attention away from another potential partygoer. By then, the lizard-man has raised his own mask to reveal his face. The camera focuses on the eyes of the masked pretender, which convey a clear sense of calculation and perhaps genuine amusement. The lizard-man finally announces that he has the “good stuff”, and leads him fatefully to a lavatory. As the door closes behind them, the partygoer looks over his shoulder, and finally seems to suspect that something is amiss. As he starts to ask a question, the villain raises his mask. The target finally moves, too late, and what follows is really barely a moment longer than what I have recounted. It’s a fine bit of cinematography, exactly what should be expected from a true best of the genre.

In closing, I come to the rating, and here, the real question is if this can truly be considered the “best” slasher movie. After both reflection and viewings of other material, I must say it is not quite there (that distinction definitely goes to one of the Halloween movies, and that would keep us up all night), which is the main reason I have given it anything but the highest rating. I will further admit that it does have its weaknesses even compared to other slasher movies. The one question I cannot answer is, what are you even looking for in a slasher movie? To me, a slasher movie I can tolerate is a pleasant surprise, so 3 out of 4 is praise enough. And if you are one of the people who really like slashers, there is no reason you wouldn’t love this movie. I for one can leave it at that, and call it a night. Further up and further in…