Title:
Terror Train
What Year?:
1980
Classification: Knockoff/
Mashup
Rating:
It’s Okay! (3/4)
With this review, I’m continuing my semi-official survey of slasher movies, and I’m up to one I was actually looking forward to. As I have freely admitted, I have disliked slashers as much on principle as from experience. As a further consequence, many/ most of the ones I have seen are decent to good entries that fans of the genre acknowledge as well above average. On the other hand, I have on occasion found a film that I have been surprised isn’t much better known and regarded, and I consider the present example to be nothing less than one of the very best. I present Terror Train, a slasher movie good enough for even me to like. As it happens, I’ve been on the train.
Our story begins with a med school prank involving a real dead body that sends the intended victim into a breakdown. Fast forward, and we find the lunkheads and the semi-reluctant woman who participated on a night-long trip on an excursion train. It’s frat party meets masque as the coeds party away in costume, with further entertainment from a magician. But a killer has slipped into their midst, using the disguises of his victims. The body count rises, even as the actually competent authority figures in charge of the train lose track of one of the bodies. We all know this isn’t just a random guy, and he’s working his way up to the victim who might not deserve it. Will our final girl survive the night, or is this a one-way trip?
Terror Train was a 1980 horror/ slasher film directed by Robert Spottiswoode. The film was reportedly conceived by producer Daniel Grodnik as “Halloween on a train”. The film starred Jamie Lee Curtis as the damsel Alana and veteran stuntman/ character actor Ben Johnson as the conductor Carne, with David Copperfield as the unnamed Magician. The movie was filmed in late 1979 in Montreal, Canada, using an authentic engine and cars from the Canadian Pacific Railway. The role of the killer Kenny Hampson (yeah, 42-year-old spoiler) was played by Derek MacKinnon, described by Spottiswoode as a transvestite and a member of the local theatrical community. The finished film was distributed by Fox, with a reported $5M ad campaign that would have exceeded its original $3.5M budget. The film was a likely commercial disappointment, earning a box office of only $8M against its budget and expenses, and received mixed to poor reviews. Later critics and fans reappraised it as a superior 1980s slasher movie. Spottiswoode went on to a successful career as writer and director on films including 48 Hours and Tomorrow Never Dies. MacKinnon made several additional film and TV appearances, including an interview for the 1993 LGBT documentary Lip Gloss. A remake of Terror Train was released in 2022. As of late 2022, the original film is available for free streaming on Tubi.
For my experiences, I first heard of this film by pure serendipity, because the train cars used have appeared regularly at local railroad events. (Yeah, I do a lot of stuff I don’t write about.) I didn’t take an immediate interest in the movie, but it did eventually find its way into my rental queue early in the current year. After going in with especially low expectations, I was highly impressed with the film, enough to consider it not just one of the better slasher movies but quite possibly the best I had encountered first-hand. That really made it the kind of movie that usually does not suit my purposes, so I set it for another look down the line. After the rematch, I can still hold it up as at least among the smartest of vintage slashers.
Moving forward, the first things to say are by way of explaining my lead-in. The most striking thing about this movie is that it rarely if ever depends on the characters being dumb. The killer is genuinely clever, enough that he manages to cover his tracks even after evidence of his handiwork is discovered. The body count fodder, by comparison, certainly don’t act very bright, but then they have little reason to suspect they are in danger until very late in the film. The biggest departure from the still-emerging formula is the exceptionally proactive train crew. Of course, they try to cover up the first murder or so where more immediate action could have stopped the whole thing, plus they fail to stop the bad guy from removing evidence. On the other hand, they are quite effective in keeping the civilians from either panicking or directly interfering with their inquiries, which would be by far the greatest risks in a real-life situation. Most impressively, they ultimately unload everybody for an orderly inspection, which sets up a twist I had forgotten the details of. Finally, it is the conductor who finally deals with the villain, albeit after he almost does in the damsel.
This still doesn’t cover the most intriguing elements of the movie, the costumes, the train, and the quite unique villain. The costume party, lit and shot in a willfully lurid 1970s style, seems to reference “Masque of the Red Death”, with an effective surreal feel that is often lost in actual Poe adaptations (see Two Evil Eyes for a possible exception). The hedonistic atmosphere is increasingly contrasted with the confined spaces of the train environment, which hadn’t been used since The Horror Express and are treated at least as effectively here (perhaps better than Curtis…). It has been my further observation that this is where science fiction/ horror films often “cheat” by honeycombing their claustrophobic vehicle with improbably convenient places for both the protagonists and the villain/ monster to hide or escape, but these only figure once or twice here. In these terms, the only film to adhere so honestly to the premise is the ”B-17” segment of Heavy Metal. Finally, there is the killer, who is at face value given good reason for revenge. The usual temptation to find sympathy for the villain is tempered by the nature of his attacks; it’s of particular note that at least one victim seems to be a random target of opportunity, belying any intention of limiting his attacks to those who wronged him. When we do get a look at him, he is unsettlingly ordinary, a commendable counterpoint to the toxic glamor that would surround the genre. Then there is his voice, which I simply cannot do justice by describing.
That leaves the “one scene”, and I’m going with one of the kills that I honestly wanted another look at. It all starts with the killer making his way through the train in what looks like a Groucho Marx mask. He passes an especially jubilant partygoer in a lizard-man suit, who addresses him by the name of the original owner. (As noted, it’s not at all clear that the villain knew as much…) It’s enough to draw his attention away from another potential partygoer. By then, the lizard-man has raised his own mask to reveal his face. The camera focuses on the eyes of the masked pretender, which convey a clear sense of calculation and perhaps genuine amusement. The lizard-man finally announces that he has the “good stuff”, and leads him fatefully to a lavatory. As the door closes behind them, the partygoer looks over his shoulder, and finally seems to suspect that something is amiss. As he starts to ask a question, the villain raises his mask. The target finally moves, too late, and what follows is really barely a moment longer than what I have recounted. It’s a fine bit of cinematography, exactly what should be expected from a true best of the genre.
In closing, I come to the
rating, and here, the real question is if this can truly be considered the “best”
slasher movie. After both reflection and viewings of other material, I must say
it is not quite there (that distinction definitely goes to one of
the Halloween movies, and that would keep us up all night), which is the
main reason I have given it anything but the highest rating. I will further admit
that it does have its weaknesses even compared to other slasher movies. The one
question I cannot answer is, what are you even looking for in a slasher movie?
To me, a slasher movie I can tolerate is a pleasant surprise, so
3 out of 4 is praise enough. And if you are one of the people who really like slashers,
there is no reason you wouldn’t love this movie. I for one can leave it at that,
and call it a night. Further up and further in…
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