Revenge of the Revenant Review 15: The one with bikers vs. zombies

 

Title: Chopper Chicks in Zombietown aka Chrome Hearts

What Year?: 1989

Classification: Irreproducible Oddity/ Mashup

Rating:; It’s Okay! (3/4)

 

As I write this, I’m back to this feature after a bit of a hiatus, and I have one I’ve been looking forward to, which is more than I can say for a few others I have backlogged. It was also one that took a while to get hold of on disc, which so far has been a minimum criteria I’ve applied for all but a couple movies in this feature, and I still sat on it a while longer. I suppose that was in part because my only previous viewing had left a decidedly mixed impression. Still, once I decided it was time to get this feature going again, I knew this was the one to go with. With that, I present Chopper Chicks In Zombietown, and doesn’t it sound like it should be fun?

Our story begins with a biker gang riding through the desert, only these happen to be an all- female band who call themselves the Cycle Sluts. We also see a boy get lunched by a group of shuffling ghouls behind a locked door. Their next stop proves to be an especially backward town called Zariah. As they fan out, we learn more about their leader, Rox, who frankly identifies herself as “the dyke”, her second-in-command Dede, who has a husband she left behind in town, and stereotypes like a mute, a single mother, a racially ambiguous tomboy and a nymphomaniac named Lucille who goes looking for men. We also meet an undertaker and his midget assistant, who kill Lucille and then reanimate her with a haphazardly explained process. It turns out the doctor has been killing the townsfolk for his experiments for some time and keeping most of the subjects outside of town. Nevertheless, it’s the lady bikers who draw the townspeople’s wrath, leading to a confrontation that ends with Rox kicking Dede out of the gang. Just when the gang is ready to leave, the undead arrive and begin destroying the town. It’s up to the Sluts to save the day, with help from a busload of blind orphans, but the doctor still has his own plans!

Chopper Chicks In Zombietown was the only film directed by writer Dan Hoskins, produced by the infamous Troma crew that somehow has never popped up in my reviews before. (I’m an Empire guy…) The movie was reportedly filmed under the title “Chrome Hearts”. The film starred Jamie Rose as Dede and Catherine Carlen as Rox, with Don Calfa of Return of the Living Dead as the villainous Dr. Willum. Later video releases invariably billed future Oscar winner Billy Bob Thornton in his first credited role as Dede’s ex. Other cast included the late Ed Gale as the midget, MTV personality Mae Clutter as one of the townspeople and Earl Boen of the Terminator franchise (see also Battle Beyond the Stars) as the town butcher. Its soundtrack includes multiple arrangements of the Renaissance mass “Dies Irae”, previously used in The Shining and The Screaming Skull. The movie was released in 1989, though the extent of its theatrical run is unclear. It was released on VHS and DVD in the 1990s and early 2000s; the latter includes an introduction by producer and Troma executive Leonard Kaufman. Like many genre films, it has fallen “out of print” in more recent years.

The thing to know about this one going in is that it feels like at least two or three movies in a violent pileup, with the prevailing influences being zombie movies (especially Return of the Living Dead) and somebody’s idea of a women’s prison film (which I have no doubt Troma made a few of). I must also say the film struggles far more when trying to emulate “straight” source material, to the point that I was ready to give it at least one rating lower based on the first 30-45 minutes. It also very much requires the right mood to appreciate, which has directly figured in the present review. There was just enough time between when I watched the movie and when I started writing this that I would normally give it another viewing, but I felt like that would just be overload. The break from my usual policy certainly hasn’t helped with unraveling the unnecessary convolutions of the plot and worldbuilding; however, this is the kind of movie where deeper analysis definitely isn’t going to help anyone.

On any amount of scrutiny, the Chopper Chicks themselves definitely account for most of the film’s weaknesses, especially in its first half. Only a few of them really get developed well, and the only one we’re given much reason to care about from the outset is the single mother. There’s also plenty of “cringe” material here, albeit in an equal and opposite direction from more typical exploitation fair. This gives us some pay off with Rox, who gradually reveals some nuance and vulnerability, and with zombified Lucille, who continues to press for the affections of men both living and undead. On the other hand, a tryst between one of the bikers and the son of the town nurse is so abruptly introduced that it could be interpreted as either breaking and entering or flat assault. The upside is that the interactions with the townsfolk make the characters more interesting. The scenes between Dede and her ex in particular give us backstory both for the gang and the town, and Thornton does get a fleshed-out role even though he already seems to be slumming it for a paycheck. The highlight, however, is an especially puritanical town elder who berates the gang for their obvious indiscretions, complete with a jaw-dropping line that seems as wistful as it is misogynistic.

The other side of the equation is the zombies. The undead here fall somewhere between City of the Walking Dead and The Video Dead, with whiffs of The Earth Dies Screaming. Since it is specified that they are reanimated by technology, they do not appear to be able to pass their condition to anyone else, and only a few of their victims (possibly including the doctor) show any sign of reanimation. They are clearly subhuman in intelligence, yet remain curious about their surroundings and objects they encounter, even in the presence of human prey.  At times, they seem to spare family and acquaintances, leading to an especially entertaining subplot between an undead lawman and his living son. What is most interesting is that their relationship to their creator, which almost reverts to anthropologically grounded early films like White Zombie. It’s revealed that the doctor has brought them to life to retrieve toxic waste for an otherwise unexplained scheme; the dwarf merely comments, “We couldn’t use the living because they’d die.” In practice, the doctor clearly remains generally in control, with Lucille being the conspicuous exception. In one early scene, he monologues about his discoveries to a pair of zombies who merely sit patiently or indifferently. As mentioned above, the doctor’s own status is uncertain by the general onslaught of the finale, but he clearly remains intelligent, even trying to teach them the use of firearms.

I really have to say a little more about the finale. It’s at about this point that the gang start resolving their differences, and the story and dialogue finally work well enough for us to like them better for it. They get extra help from the penitent midget and those blind orphans. Meanwhile, the zombies go on a fairly standard rampage with an extra level of coordination thanks to the doctor. The action is mostly melee combat with the bikers, who handily rout the undead until the doctor arrives with a literal wagon full of guns. In addition to his impromptu lesson, we get surreal moments like the discovery of the butcher in his shop and a curious zombie that tries chewing on a hand grenade. The real pile of random is the soundtrack, which has so far accompanied the zombies with silly slapstick music. As the onslaught ensues, we instead get a literally rocking arrangement of Dies Irae, which transitions into organ music as the gang’s situation gets more grim. It all builds up to a standard “blow them all up” climax done much better than usual, leaving the fate of several characters in real doubt.

With all that, I still don’t have a “one scene”, and there was never much doubt what it would be. Early in the zombie invasion, we go to the home of the Clutters, a family who own a store that will continue to figure in the story. A young woman named Mae, whom I confirmed to be played by Martha Quinn, gives a lengthy complaint that she has been supporting the family while her father and brother (I think) are mourning the passing of the family’s oldest son. Naturally, the departed is the first to appear when the undead arrive, revealed in a genuinely eerie shot as their father opens the door, which is when the first riff of Dies Irae starts. After a brief cut back to the gang, we find that the father has closed the door, but still gets lunched when his son breaks straight through it. The brother scrambles to help Mae barricade the windows, only to be eaten by a zombie already inside. The sister manages to beat back the first wave with a board on hand for firewood, buying enough space to start throwing some family photos on the fire. Just then, what’s left of the door burst open, and the figure says, “Home.” Mae promptly answers, “Ma, I had enough of you the first time.” It’s a great little sequence, and as much of a feminist affirmation as anything else in the movie, but alas, the last we see of Quinn and her character.

As I’ve been saying from the start, this is a movie that’s all over the map, and certainly not for everybody. If I were to rate it on its own merits, I would follow my first inclination and give it 2/4. Factor in the creative concept of the zombies, the well-executed action of the finale and especially the performances from Calfa and Gale, however, and it gets up to a strong 3. It’s exactly the kind of “bad” movie that can still make a good zombie movie, even if it’s not up there with the best. I might even like it better if I watched it again, but once is going to be enough for a while yet. With that, I can move on.

Image credit VideoCollector.co.uk.