Revenge of the Revenant Review 3: The one where splinter zombies attack a gas station

 

Title: Splinter

What Year?: 2008

Classification: Anachronistic Outlier

Rating: That’s Good! (4/4)

 

In considering what I wanted to cover with this feature, one issue that didn’t really come up was a time frame. I didn’t want to focus on a particular era as I did with Space 1979, but most of the kind of movies I wanted to cover were falling into the same late 1970s to mid-‘80s time frame I had set out for that feature. I believe this is because that was the peak both in output and overall creativity of the zombie “genre”. Earlier movies like The Earth Dies Screaming and Plan 9 From Outer Space lacked a conceptual framework to separate from other horror and sci fi offerings, while later movies like Resident Evil and Shaun of the Dead  tended to rely on “standardized” concepts of zombies rather than doing anything new on that front. Despite that clear pattern, there was still one movie in the relatively recent past that I knew I had to get to. With that, I introduce Splinter, easily the most unique zombie in the last two decades and still among the very best.

Our story begins with a butch lady and her nerdy husband on a camping trip. The cute couple’s plans go awry when they are carjacked by a pair of outlaws on the run. Things go from bad to rapidly worse when they lose a tire running over an animal covered in strange spines that keep moving after the critter is clearly dead. They reach a gas station, only to find the sole attendant already infected by the parasitic organism. With their vehicle disabled and the creatures closing in, the couple and the remaining outlaw seal themselves in the gas station, fighting off attacks and an advancing infection in their own ranks. Their only chance to remain alive and human is for the science nerd to find the parasite’s weakness before it can claim another victim. 

Splinter was originally released in a limited theatrical run in October 2008 with a run time just over 80 minutes. The feature was directed by Toby Wilkins, best known before and since as an effects guy. The small cast consisted mainly of accomplished TV/ character actors, including Shea Wigham as the outlaw. The creature/ makeup effects were handled by a crew led by Christian Beckman, who had previously worked on the 2005 Spielberg version of War of the Worlds. The cable network HDNet Movies aired the movie shortly before its Halloween theatrical release, presenting an early example of a movie reaching digital venues before theaters or physical media. As of this writing, an official site for the movie is still live.

For my personal experiences, I probably first saw Splinter sometime between 2010 and 2012. I know I finally bought it in my annual Halloween binge in 2017. I bought Misery at about the same time, which links the two in my mind, though not for that reason alone. It struck my from the start as a good, fairly “old school” monster movie with a unique twist on zombification. My attention might have ended there, if “old school” monster flicks didn’t keep getting fewer and further between. What really keeps this movie in mind is that it repeatedly rises far above any recitation on paper. The characters are stock characters, if not quite formulaic, but the good cast and dialogue keeps them engaging. The minimal setup goes back even further than Night of the Living Dead, but the confined setting of the gas station takes it almost to reductio ad absurdum. Even the monster sounds not much different than any number of others, with weaknesses that seem borrowed from the Predator and Tremors franchise, but the movie takes it over the line from horror to abstract surrealism.

If any fault can be admitted, it is that the movie would be quite forgettable without the creature effects, but that’s like complaining that Kill Bill is too violent or Zardoz is too 1970’s. Beyond the initial exposition, the mutations of the splinter organism (all portrayed primarily with practical effects) are the story, and that is the main reason I haven’t given a much longer synopsis. From the moment the splinters sprout, the immediate reaction is primal cringe. As the organism takes root, the impression that very quickly emerges is a puppet show where the puppeteer doesn’t know or particularly care how anatomy is supposed to work. Limbs twist in the most violent and unnatural contortions, in one case while still attached to the living host. As the organism evolves, bodies and pieces of bodies combine into an emergent abomination. The overall feel is a cross between The Thing and Bride of Reanimator with Evil Dead 2 on the side. The one further flaw is that the parts are greater than the whole in more ways than one, as skittering severed limbs and hands prove far more unnerving than the final hulk.

Now it’s time for the “one scene”, and I was genuinely perplexed, simply because of how much gets packed into the movie’s very short running time. My pick, very much on the fly, is when a state trooper arrives. At her approach (nothing more is made of gender), the parasites retreat out of sight, in the most significant display of possible intelligence. The trooper immediately identifies the outlaw, and reminds both the civilians and the viewer that he’s something darker than a “good boy gone wrong”. In what should be a hackneyed moment, both the outlaw and the couple frantically urge her to take shelter and call for backup. She does get observant enough to see the blood left behind by earlier casualties, and reacts with genuine horror. Of course, it is right about then that there is movement overhead. While the rest is quite predictable, it is (like many things here) no less effective.

In hindsight, this movie feels like the last stand of its characters, and even more forlorn. Of course, it’s not the “last” monster/ zombie movie, or the last “good” one. What it is (per the classifications I came up with for Space 1979) is a movie that feels like it could and should have been made at least 10 years earlier, already left more than 10 years in the past. For a movie that retains the minimal B-movie style while bringing in a bonkers level of creativity, this is a true peak, and unfortunately, it’s going to be a long time before anyone tries to equal it.