Fiction: Off-brand retro gaming fan fiction demo!

 It's Monday night and I still don't have a weekend post. What I wasted my time with was an ancient fan fiction idea certain developments knocked loose. Yes, as far as I know, this was edgy when I came up with it. So, here goes. And by the way, the Latin is all real...

In another world, it would have looked like a sailing ship of old. Its sides were made of stout and weathered beams, shaped in the gentle curve of a long, narrow hull. From its multitiered deck and its sides, dozens of cannons of every size pointed outward. But the white swells it sailed over were not waves, but clouds, and in place of sails, it bore huge yet gracefully curved screws that swirled the stratocumulus as it descended. Two more skyships sailed on its flanks, with five more in a second formation behind. Scattered among them were dozens and hundreds of caravels, barges and frigates of every size. Ahead rose a grim, black mountain that towered above the clouds, topped by a smoldering cone. Around the peak, an even larger flotilla circled, all black. And on the deck stood Lord Ajax of the Red Kingdom, once independent contractor Alexander A. Papadpoulos of Boston, now ruler of the Low Plains and Reed Isle and Regent of the Realms of the Mushroom Men.

“The Flagship of the Lindorm Realm and its fleet approach,” the Navigator reported. “What are your orders?”

The black ship was already clear to the naked eye, half again their width and nearly three times their length. Ajax turned to the slightly younger, noticeably taller man at his side. “What do you think, Hector?” he said.

“Stay the course, brother,” the other man answered, “until we know more.”

Ajax nodded. “Extend the banners,” he said. On either side extended the gilded banners of his kingdom, displaying an eight-pointed star on a field of scarlet. The ships to the right and left did the same, unveiling banners of green and brown.  The ships to the rear unfurled their own banners, lavender, navy blue, yellow, orange and white. The dark ship answered by deploying the white banners of truce.

 

Beneath the clouds lay the dead or dormant lesser mounts of the Black Mountains. One of the larger cones had caved in, forming a ring-shaped lake with a central isle. The eastern side of the isle had an inlet that provided a serviceable bay. On this shore lay a sprawling complex the size of a modest town, clearly intended as or at least modeled on a fortress. This day, however, the strongpoints flew festive banners, the cannons were polished bright as gold, and every gate was opened for the crowd streaming from the pier to the central parade ground. Ajax and his brother descended in a tiny launch, adorned with gold rails and purple cushions. Two more launches descended from the airships on either side, flying their own banners. Above the great gate ahead flew one red banner, and another of purple.

Hector hurried forward to meet another from the launch with the green banner, a slight woman with platinum hair in a sea-green dress that flowed behind her as she rushed into his open arms. He had to hoist her to press his lips to her scalp. She nuzzled his chest ecstatically. “Hector,” she murmured. “My husband, my king and my lord.” Ajax gazed at his brother with an expression of bemusement rather than envy. Hector met his eye, and gave a smile that was at once embarrassed and proud. Then a saurian the size of a large dog broke free of its handlers and scampered to the Lady’s side. Ajax reached over and scratched the fuzz behind its tiny horns.

From the launch with the brown banner came a Mushroom Man and a blue Flower woman. At a glance, they looked human, if one did not look beneath the man’s conical hat or too closely at his lady’s skirt and bonnet. “Well met, Ajax,” he said. “We bring good word from the Lands of the Woods. The Beasts have kept their truce, the Wraiths are seen no more. The Dark Forests are quiet, nor are they as dark as they once were.”

“I would have expected no less, Morel,” Ajax said. He turned to welcome the bride of his brother as she approached. To his wonderment, she fell at his feet.

“Ajax, brother, liberator,” she said. She looked up at him with tears streaming down her cheeks. He felt no little embarrassment as she threw her arms around his knees. “This is the day we have longed for, the day you fought for. Be glad for it. Believe in it.”

Ajax ran a hand through her hair. “Of course, Daffodil,” he said, looking again to Hector. The lady quickly rose to her feet at the thudding of approaching feet. The Lindorm delegation had come forth.

A single robed emissary and a dozen armored warriors approached. The Lindorm did not look human, though they walked upright on their thick, half-bowed legs. Their faces were dominated by large eyes and a beak. Their hides were covered in feathery yellow-gray down that still made Ajax think of mustard. Their round torsos bore a leathery carapace, which the warriors covered with studded brigandines. The emissary lowered his hood, revealing a blue crest and a scaly wattle below his jaw. “The Lord of the Lindorms offers his warmest welcome, Ajax, as does his Bride,” he said. “The Lady is pleased that you chose to come.”

Ajax bowed. “I would not have missed it,” he said.

The guards lined up on either side, their staves raised at salute as the delegates of each Kingdom entered. More warriors stood at attention in the courtyard, armed but at ease. Ajax walked at the head of eight Mushroom Men, each with an arquebus under his right arm and a dagger at his hip. Princess Daffodil followed on a cart pulled by little, loyal Tatzel with Hector as footman beside her. Their own guard of four burly Olive Men rode on Tatzel’s larger brothers, two in front and two behind, their tridents slung at their backs. Morie had settled for a pair of Beasts, seemingly shapeless masses of fur and muscle half again the Mushroom Man’s height, both armed with a mace the size of a polearm. More followed, the royal purple Maidens of the Lavender Realm, the Sky Marines of the Blue Coast, the Beetle miners of the Gold Mountains, the Jackelope Riders of the Orange Deserts and the Climbers of the White North.

When the delegations had gathered, the Emissary took the podium set halfway up the steps that led to the central palace-fort. “I am Speaker for Emperor Naam, Lord Protector of the Lindorms, King of the Black Mountains and the Red Desert, Conqueror of the Sky Islands, and Benefactor of the High Plains,” he said. He unrolled a scroll. “I am here to read the terms of the treaty between the Kingdoms of the Mushroom Men and the Lands of the Lindorms.”

He adjusted a pair of spectacles. “First, a peace shall be in effect from this day forth between the present and future subjects of Lord of the Lindorms and the Lady of the Royal House of Pruna, High Queen of the Mushroom Folk. In his graciousness, Naam has ceded all claims to his former provinces and territories of the Red Coast and the Orange Desert, to the Dark Forest and to all lands beyond it. In gratitude, Lady Pruna has granted freedom and the pledge of protection to the Red Mushroom Men of the Coast, to the Lindorms of the Gold Mountains and all their kin within her realms.

“Second, the crown and throne of the High Queen of the Mushroom Realm shall be given to Princess Daffodil, Lady of the House of Narcissa, and her husband Hector, Lord and Liberator of the Green Isles.  Henceforth, the seat of their rule and the House of Pruna shall be moved to the Pearl Palace of Narcissa on the Green Isle. The Great Palace of Pruna at the border of the realms of Lavender, Indigo and Scarlet shall henceforth be a residence of the Dowager and her kin, a meeting place for the government of the United Realms, and a Royal Library and museum to be open to all the peoples of the Realms.” By then, Hector was cradling Daffodil as she wept.

“Third, the lands of the Red Kingdom shall be given full liberty and a pledge of eternal friendship, under the rule of Lord Ajax, Liberator of her Ladyship and Savior of her Realms, and any heir that should come to his house.” Ajax’s guards beamed. He kept his face nearly immobile as the Emissary read on, and on.

“Finally, High Queen Lady Pruna of the Mushroom Folk and Lord Emperor Naam of the Lindorms shall this day be married. All heads of state present shall be invited to witness the sacred Ceremony of Union within the Shrine of Nam. Their vassals, retainers and all other subjects of the Lord and Lady and the diverse Realms represented shall thereafter take part in their great Feast.”

Hector made his way to Ajax’s side. Daffodil took his arm. Tatzel cooed at his feet. “Talk to me, bro,” Hector said. For a moment, Ajax just stared ahead.

“I’ll be fine,” Ajax said. “Everything will be just fine…”

 

He had freely asked the Lindorm guards for a tour of the Palace. He wondered aloud how little had changed. It was in a corridor lined with statues of Naam that he excused himself for a closer look. He did not even have to pry up the grate on the Palace floor. He reached the bottom and peered into the dark passage ahead. He showed no surprise at a tap on his shoulder. “I know you, bro,” Hector said. “Come on back. We can tell the guards we were just doing it for a good laugh.”

“No,” Ajax said. “I have to do this.”

“Then you’re going to have to take me with you,” Hector said. Ajax ran forward without another word. They had gotten halfway when the ceiling came down.

“Why do they even put this here?” Ajax said as the ceiling raised from the niche where they had thrown themselves.

“Because Naam used to be crazy enough to try not to kill you,” Hector said. 

Neither of them looked at the objects that swished back and forth as they ran, sometimes just ahead and sometimes just behind. “Hey, remember one thing,” Hector said as they paused. “You were the one who called off your wedding.”

As they raced forward, Ajax realized something had changed. Hector pushed him faster than he could have died. As the giant moving block plowed his brother out of sight, he wailed, “Daaaffeee!!!” Ajax ran straight ahead. He felt a draft of warm but fresh air as he climbed up, He pushed at the grate, but it did not move. He pounded at it until he saw the bars bend, and it still would not budge. After a while, there was a long, loud scraping. A huge taloned hand nearly as large as the grate itself lifted it. He climbed up in resignation. For a moment, he peered up at a towering shape of scales, spikes, claws, wings and horns. Then the silhouette transformed as if it was his own eyes adjusting into a very tall man.

He took a seat on the massive strongbox that had undoubtedly covered the grate. He examined the figure before him. Even under scrutiny, Naam looked as human as he was, at least apart from the eyes. He was clad in black leather. His red hair was slicked back so smoothly that it looked like a helmet in profile. “I still don’t understand how you do that,” he said.

Naam shrugged. “I have a dual nature,” the Lindorm said. “Most creatures of the Realms do, including your Princesses. How would  Flower Maiden bear the sons of a Mushroom Man if it were not so? I have explained, you are the one who is different. After all this time, you are still in this World, not of it. That is why you always defeated me. I did always try to win, even if I always gave you a way not to lose.”

“You know why I came,” Ajax said, looking about the throne room. “I need to see her. I need to talk.”

“She wanted to meet with you,” the King said with genuine sadness. “She would have, if you had waited. But it will not be like this. That is her will, not mine.”

“What really happened?” Ajax said. “When?”

“Come now, there are things gentlemen do not speak of, even between themselves,” Naam answered. “But I know you are thinking one thing I can tell you is true. She can change as I do. She has, and yes, her form is as mine. She did not know, for a very long time. I myself only wondered, once in a while. This is not the first union between our Realms, though the last that happened openly was long ago.”

Ajax’s expression hardened. “She told me, once, that she thought she had another form,” he said. “She wanted my help to obtain a Relic of Power. She said it would show her true form. I told her it was too dangerous.”

Naam’s expression grew thoughtful. “She asked the same thing of me, only she knew I possessed several items that could have helped her. Still, I advised her as you did. In the end, it did not matter. If you recall the time my skyship crashed off the shores of the White Kingdom, surely you do… We were alone, waiting to see if our side or yours would find us before the ice gave in. She found herself then, with but a little help from me. It was not as you might think. What I still wonder is if you have acquired enough of our Realms for a second Shape. But, as I said and you well know, experimentation is ill-advised.”

The King rose and produced a box. “Hector will be fine, of course,” he said. “My Emissary has already redressed him for the Ceremony, though I gather his Lady is most unhappy. All we need tell the others is that you excused yourself, so that there would be no breach of decorum if your feelings got the better of you. It would not be wholly untrue, would it? My Guards will release you when the Feast begins. By then, my Lady and I will have retired. She bade me to give you this.” He placed the box in Ajax’s hands.

Well after the King departed, Ajax opened the box. Tears ran down his cheeks, but he no longer shook with sobs. Inside was a single sheet of parchment. He unrolled it and read…

 

Your Princess is in another castle.