As I write this, it's the middle of the last week of the month, and I just admitted I'm not getting another Sidekick Carl installment in. Here's something I dusted off and expanded a bit instead, a demo for Chelsea O'Keefe, who keeps appearing in the adventures of Percy the robot cop and/ or the Evil Possum (see below for more links) without doing much. In hindsight, a major reason for that is that I'd never posted any version of this scene. So, here it is...
The couple sat staring straight ahead, out the 50th floor window at the towering building across the way. The woman was in her early 30s, and looked acutely embarrassed. The man was in his middling 20s, and looked miserable. They faced a figure that seemed as strange as a mythic chimera, a smiling female senior case worker somewhere between youth and middle age, with hair the color of blued gunmetal. The slate on her desk said: CHELSEA O’KEEFE DEPARTMENT OF DOMESTIC SERVICES HEALTH AND PHYSICAL THERAPEUTICS SENIOR CASE MANAGER.
“Based on your petitions,” the blue-haired apparition said, “we have assigned you to be Therapeutic Partners and provisional Domestic Partners. This will be accepted and approved as a marriage under your identified faith traditions, and clergy participating in our program will be available to perform religious services if requested. This meeting is to finalize your assignment. If you choose to do so, of course.” She smiled.
“While you obviously have differences, we’re confident you will find you have much more in common,” she continued. As she spoke, she glanced regularly at a display on her wrist. Once, it buzzed, but she ignored it. “The two of you have an Adjusted Compatibility score of .76, which is quite good. Under the terms of your petitions for assignment, you are granted 72 hours of leave, along with stipends for recreational and therapeutic expenses. Of course, we will provide a range of educational materials. You will also be given access to certain confidential portions of each other’s profiles, so that you can better understand each other’s preferences. There will be no guidelines or restrictions on your activities, but your case workers will evaluate whether you have reached certain milestones.”
The pair were really looking at each other now, more thoughtful and also calculating. “Of course, you are under no obligation to enter a permanent domestic partnership, a romantic relationship, or even a specifically physical one,” she concluded. “In fact, we would encourage you not to think of romantic involvement during the initial therapeutic pairing. Still, the odds are on your side: 75% of those who apply for pairing enter a monogamous domestic partnership within 24 months, and a full 50% do so with the first partner we assign."
The woman looked at her
more closely. “What is it you do?” she said. “I mean, what are your
credentials?”
“I’m certified as counselor and a Doctor of Sexual Therapy,” Chelsea answered confidently. “I can advise you on any concerns.”
“Yeah,” the man chimed in.
“But are you married? Partnered? Whatever?”
“We don’t discuss that with clients,” Chelsea said. “It can create negative impressions. We have married, single and even celibate counselors who all do equally good work, as long as clients remain receptive. Frankly, the confidentiality also deters clients from trying to fraternize with unpartnered staff. That’s against out rules of conduct, and we rarely appreciate it.”
The woman nodded. “Would you tell us,” she said, “if people in your department have had state assignments?”
Chelsea nodded. “Of course,” she said. “Our staff makes petitions about as often as the citizens who are our clients. Several of my own coworkers have received assignments. All of them are still with the same partner.”
The woman looked curious. “How does that fit with your fraternizing rules?”
“It’s really not a problem,” Chelsea said. “Our administration only gets involved if a client gets partnered with one of their own case workers. It happens, really no more than relationships that start any other way. Assignments between staff are a lot more common. Their compatibility and success rates are the best of all.”
The man spoke up again. “There was the story when I was still a kid,” he said, “about the couple who got a .98 rating…”
Chelsea sighed. “That was using an earlier version of our algorithms,” she said. “We’ve made several refinements that would have changed the results. Everything else, especially the coverage you might have seen, was done without our approval. In fact, our current policy is that we only release testimonies from clients anonymously. A lot of people have offered it.”
Finally, the pair turned
to each other. The man said to the woman, “Would you like to go to dinner?”
“To be honest,” she answered, “I’d rather go to the room and get this over with.” The man followed her with a dazed smile. They were holding hands by the time they were out the door.
“You know the worst part?” the case worker said to nobody in particular. “They’re the kind that usually make it.”
She sighed and folded up the
headset. After a moment, she unlimbered it again. “James?... I quit.”
Post-script, here's the links for the Eurypterids adventure!
And a couple more that do have Chelsea...
And my misbegotten arcology post!
That's all for now, more to come!
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