Super Movies! The one by Wes Craven

 

Title: Swamp Thing

What Year?: 1982

Classification: Runnerup/ Mashup/ Evil Twin

Rating: Ow, My Brain!!! (unrated/ NR)

 

As I write this, I’ve been doing movie reviews for a year. If there’s one thing I’ve learned along the way, it’s that no matter how well I plan, there’s always an element of chance, and it runs both ways. Sometimes, I run across something I wouldn’t have thought of reviewing that works. Sometimes, I watch a movie I have planned on for weeks or months, and I just can’t do anything with it in the time frame I have. This week, I’ve truly had the best and worst of luck: First, I got to a movie I had planned for this feature from the beginning, but just couldn’t deal with it. Fortunately, I had just watched another movie that fit in with another feature (see Galaxy Quest). Now, however, I still have an unfilled slot and I know I’m not getting back to this damn thing again anytime soon. So here is Swamp Thing, a DC movie directed by the guy who did Nightmare on Elm Street.

Our story begins with a scenic view of the swamps of the Deep South. We then are introduced to a group in military uniforms who kill bystanders with minimal provocation, and a scientist working with his sister to develop a formula that will accelerate plant growth. When the researcher is introduced to a well-endowed government auditor, they quickly take a shine to each other. Alas, it turns out  the paramilitary types are mercenaries sent to steal the scientist’s formula. An attack ends with the sister dead, the scientist burned and mutilated, and the visitor on the run. But the scientist’s formula allows him to return to life as a plant-creature with superhuman strength and invulnerability to gunfire and conventional weapons. The monster goes on a warpath, protecting his love interest from the mercenaries, until the scheming industrialist in charge uses her as bait. The creature and the lady must escape his mansion/ compound, but can they get past the villain after he takes the formula himself?

Swamp Thing was a 1982 film directed by the late Wes Craven, following successful pre-Freddy films such as The Hills Have Eyes, and produced by the prolific Embassy Pictures (see The Manitou… and Time Bandits?). The movie was the first live-action DC film following the successful Superman movies, based on a 1970s comic that followed Marvel’s Man-Thing (oh… Hell… no) and other swamp/ plant-themed comics possibly tracing to the 1940 Theodore Sturgeon horror story “It”. The cast was led by Ray Wise of Robocop as the scientist Alec and Adrienne Barbeau of Creepshow (see also Two Evil Eyes) as his lady friend Alice, with Louis Jordan as the villain Arcane. Stuntman Dick Durock was cast to take Wise’s place as Swamp Thing in some scenes, a role which was ultimately expanded to include the vast majority of the character’s screen time. The movie was made for $2.5 million, and unquestionably turned an immediate profit. It was followed by a 1989 sequel and 1990s TV series, with continuing representation up to the present day.

For my experiences, I’m sure I’ve been vaguely aware of Swamp Thing for most of my life. In retrospect, the character is a cliché that transcended itself, in fact post-dating a good deal of the material it represents. A good part of what I do know comes through Sturgeon, whose original story was odd and unsettling enough that I only read it a few times. (He mentioned accepting an award for his connection with the comic, but I have yet to find independent confirmation and no longer have the book where it came up handy.) I didn’t get to the movie until much later in life, as far as I remember when it popped up on a free streaming platform. Needless to say, I thought of it very soon after I came up with this feature, ideally as a companion to Superman IV and Supergirl, but it proved relatively difficult to obtain currently. I finally found it used earlier this month, threw in Superman IV, and got it all free to boot. It will also be needless to say, even on that budget, I wasn’t very pleased with what I got.

Moving on to the movie itself, the first and foremost thing I can say is that it’s the kind of movie that feels like too much and not enough. It’s full of scenes and sequences that are surreal, confusing or near-slapstick, yet the way it handles them is oddly tame. The action sequences are leisurely and widely spaced. The violence, gore and creature effects are limited and distinctly cautious. On top of that, the title character doesn’t do much more than pop out of the swap once in a while to wreak a few moments of PG-rated havoc. Then I can't decide if it's good or bad that it feels so much like an inferior twin of Creepshow I expect to see Stephen King turning to kudzu in the background. It’s only in the final act that the movie really starts to earn its cult/ camp reputation. The repartee between the hero and villain starts to work, especially as Swamp Thing conveniently explains the disastrous effects of his formula on one of the minions. Then things get into high gear as Arcane tries the formula, and I swear, the resulting creature looks exactly like my own design for Archididelphis invicta.

What’s really given me trouble with this one is trying to figure out what others see in it. I know lots of people like this movie, and I can kind of see why. As already outlined, there’s plenty of the kind of inspired strangeness that gets taken as “so bad it’s good”, even if it lacks the kind of energy that makes the best examples work after a fashion. On the other hand, it’s all suspended in a slush of filler that I can barely pay attention through. Then, inevitably, I find myself second-guessing if there is something I don’t “get”. It’s about the same place I ended up with Lady Snowblood, except this movie doesn’t have the excuse of coming from another nation and culture. And that must further balance against the fact that I often “get” Japanese films better than many things western.

That leaves the “one scene”, and I had more to choose from than usual. My pick is the transformation of Arcane into the Evil Possum. It’s standard fare even for the 1980s, except for the very refined villain and his surroundings. We see him pacing through the high-class mansion, until he comes to a flask of glowing green ooze. After a pause, he pours a bit into a wine glass and steps out onto the porch. He drinks, then buzzes for his staff. While he waits, he murmurs, “Not to be the phenomenon, but the thing itself.” When a woman arrives, who as far as I can tell doesn’t appear before or since, he addresses her as “darling”, then asks for a glass of brandy to be sent. After a cutaway to Swamp Thing, we see another, older woman arrive with the beverage, only to retreat as the transformation begins. What follows is one of the film’s better moments, yet still not as good as the buildup to it.

With that, I’m wrapping this up, and after what I went through to get here, it’s a pleasant surprise that I’ve gotten through in good time and actually had plenty of fun. Usually, I would say more about the rating, but at this point, my choice should be self-explanatory. There’s plenty of good in this movie, a fair amount that’s bad or awkward, and plenty more that just doesn’t connect with me. After writing this review, I think I can finally say I understand why fans like this movie. I might not get it, but I’m not going to judge you if you like this one. And with that, I’m done.